♪ Somewhere
♪ beyond the sea
♪ somewhere
♪ waitin' for me
♪ my lover stands on golden sands ♪
♪ And watches the ships
♪ that go sailin'
♪ somewhere
♪ beyond the sea
♪ she's there, watching for me ♪
♪ If I could fly like birds on high ♪
♪ Then straight to her arms ♪
♪ I'd go sailin'
♪ it's far
♪ beyond a star
♪ it's near beyond the moon ♪
♪ I know
♪ beyond a doubt
♪ my heart will lead me there soon ♪
♪ We'll meet
♪ beyond the shore
♪ we'll kiss just as before ♪
♪ Happy we'll be beyond the sea ♪
♪ And never again
♪ I'll go sailin'
Rommel.
Walkie-walkie.
♪ I know
♪ beyond a doubt, uh
♪ my heart
♪ will lead me there soon
♪ we'll meet, I know we'll meet ♪
♪ Beyond the shore
♪ we'll kiss
♪ just as before
♪ happy we'll be beyond the sea ♪
♪ And never again
♪ I'll go sailin'
♪ no more sailin'
♪ so long, sailin'
♪ bye-bye, sailin'
Jerk!
Hey, baby, it's me.
I thought I'd check in.
They don't turn our phone on until tomorrow,
And I just wanted to say... ah-choo!
Mmm. Good night.
Okay, boy, you've got one phone call.
This is it.
Make it short.
It's taxpayers money you're spending.
Well, drive carefully.
Tell your sister I said hello.
Yeah, you, too.
What's the matter, boy?
Got no one to talk to?
We square on all this?
One giant combination with everything on it.
Couple of sodas...
You sure you can't bring beer?
'Cause I could really use a beer.
Hey, man, what about my phone call?
It looks like bob and Rita Beeson are home.
probably just got in today.
Let's go down and say hello.
That's a good idea.
Rommel.
Come here, boy. Come on.
Honey?
Yeah.
You don't suppose it was Bob and Rita
That almost ran us over, do you?
I'll bet it was Christy or Bobby Jr.
Which one graduated this year?
I can never remember who's older.
Huh?
Oh, my God.
There's a black man in the Beesons' living room.
Look.
He's stealing the stereo.
Rommel! Rommel!
Judy! Get over here.
Rommel! Rommel!
Rommel!
We can't leave Rommel.
Rommel!
He's taking everything.
We've got to call the police.
A heck of a way to start the summer.
subject is male, black,
And is to be considered armed and dangerous.
What are you doing?
Looking for my other glasses.
No, I mean, where are you going?
Watch.
You can't go down there.
You don't know what's going to happen when they arrest that man.
Phil, you're only a lawyer.
Rommel, where's your leash?
what?, look.
The police are here.
That was fast. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Oh!
Damn.
Will you take the flashlight
Out of my eyes?
I'm sorry.
Step away from the car, please.
You folks are going to have to vacate the area.
We've got some trouble up here.
We're the ones who called you.
Officer, it's okay.
My husband is a lawyer.
Yes, ma'am. Yes.
Sir, uh, excuse me.
Oh, sure.
Chief, this couple right over here
Are the people who called in a little while ago.
What are their names?
I don't know.
You didn't get their names?
Evening.
hi.
Chief Tolliver.
You're the people who reported this?
Phil Gillman.
How are you?
Yes, we did.
Judy Gillman. We called right away.
You saw someone in the house?
What was he doing?
Believe me, chief Tolliver,
I'm not racist, I can assure you of that,
But when you see a black man on this island
With his arms full of stereo equipment,
You know damn good and well what he's doing.
You know who owns the house?
Bob and Rita Beeson.
Very nice people.
Have you seen them tonight?
Tell him about the car.
Oh, yes. Yes.
One of the kids...
We don't know which one.
Darn near hit us
While we were walking our dog.
They just got the car for graduation.
You know how kids are.
We see the car in the driveway,
So naturally, we're assuming that the kids are...
Hostages.
Okay, get Riley out here with his ought-six and scope.
Whoa. Whoa.
And I want body armor for everyone,
And I want them to wear it.
I want to thank you folks
For your help tonight.
We only did what anyone on this island would have done.
I think it'd be best if you go back to your house.
I've got a job to do here.
Isn't there anything else we can do to help?
Well, actually, uh,
You could remember me this fall.
if we just stay put,
He might get in that car
And try to drive on out of there.
We've got hostages in there.
What are you going to do, chief?
In an election year?
You're nuts tonight. You really are.
So much excitement for you, huh?
Excuse me. Can you tell me
Where old country road is?
I seem to be lost.
You're on old country road.
I am?
You're not a policeman, are you?
I have the curious habit
Of monitoring certain radio frequencies.
You're a reporter.
All right, gentlemen, you all know what the situation is.
Night ops, chief.
Any questions?
What are your names?
Gillman.
G-I-l-l-m-a-n.
And Judy with a "J."
Tell me what happened.
Well, uh, there was this man- -
It was a black man.
What in the...
Good...
Darn it.
Oh, great.
I see him.
He's coming out. Now take it easy.
Hey, dog.
Freeze! Police! Drop your weapon!
You want the car?
Put it down!
Okay, okay, they're up.
police.
Drop your weapon!
What?
Police...
Police! You're under arrest!
Drop it!
I can't hear you!
Let me turn off the alarm!
Aah!
Oh! Oh!
Oh!
Aah!
Donnie! Donnie!
Oh, my God.
Oh, shit.
Riley! Hold your fire.
Hold your fire.
hold your fire.
Donnie!
Get over here!
What are you doing?
The car alarm gave my position away.
You opened fire.
He had a gun, chief.
I didn't see a gun.
I'm telling you. The guy had a gun.
It looked like a 9-millimeter.
I saw it, chief. He was holding it in his hand.
Pointed the thing right at me.
There he is!
Put that away.
Stop it! Stop shooting at him.
Get down.
Okay, Stan and earl, go around to the side,
And one of you keep an eye on the back.
Riley, you stay put.
Donnie, you come with me.
Look...
He's turning the lights off.
Now we've stepped in it.
Now we have to worry about hostages.
pack it up. Let's get down there.
Can we go with you?
We're practically campaigning
For the, uh, chief of police.
We're big supporters.
Mmm. How big?
Very big.
All right, I want you to get on the horn
To the frigging phone company
And get a direct line into the house.
I want no other calls going in or out of there,
Do you understand?
I'm clear.
Maybe if we're lucky,
I mean real lucky,
We can talk that guy out of there
Before he hurts somebody.
Wipe that dirt off your face.
You're a police officer.
Hi, chief.
Waldo Lake.
You been listening to that radio of yours again?
hi.
Hello, Chief Tolliver.
Yeah.
We don't know how many family members are in the house.
We think one of the children.
We also believe that he had a gun.
Chief, the phone company says
They'll have us a line into the house
In a few minutes.
Good. Good work.
I'm sorry. Where was I?
He had a gun.
He had a gun. He had a gun. Yeah.
A 9-millimeter.
Maybe he bled to death, chief.
hi, we're not home right now,
But if you leave your name, number
And a brief message, we'll get back...
Hello?
hello?
Who is this?
Who's this?
The chief of police.
Thank God. There was a man with a gun.
Look. We're outside. We have your house surrounded.
Are you all right?
Yes, I'm all right.
We're going to get you out of there.
Can you see the man with the gun?
Do you know where he is?
No.
I don't see him.
Where are you?
I'm in an upstairs bedroom.
Can you tell me who you saw?
Was it just one man?
Yes, there was only one, but let me warn you,
He was armed to the teeth.
I tried to turn my car alarm off,
And he started shooting.
You should see what he did to my front door.
Mr. Beeson?
Beeson? My name is Sterling.
Andrew Sterling.
Waldo, come here.
Not the camera, okay?
Uh, Ernie, go get some sound bites or something.
You get around, Waldo.
So why does the name Andrew Sterling sound familiar?
The Andrew Sterling?
Who is "the" Andrew Sterling?
Andrew Sterling is a very talented man.
Well, he's very famous.
I see him all the time.
I can't quite recall what it is he does exactly,
But I do know one thing.
What's that?
He's black.
I'd say it was because I'm black.
Look, I know who you are, Mr. Sterling.
Now, what exactly are you talking about?
I'm talking about the fact that someone on this island
Tried to kill me.
We'll get you out of there.
You just sit tight.
sit, baby.
Sit.
good. Good. Good.
You work for a local station?
No. Waldo and I are freelance.
Lie down. Beg.
Good. Good.
Most of our stuff goes to shows that are syndicated,
But we're trying our best to crack the networks.
We're aiming for prime time.
Cop shows, emergency rescue,
That sort of thing.
Oh.
Speak. Rommel, speak.
People love reality.
Drug busts,
Homicides,
Domestic violence.
Ah!
America eats that stuff up.
Officer Donaldson, put them in the back, please.
Could you step into the patrol car, please?
Oh, yeah.
Come on, baby.
oh, uh, let us know when the show's on.
We'd hate to miss it. Uh-huh.
Son, I'm afraid I'm going to have to take that tape.
What about the First Amendment?
Fuck the First Amendment.
Hmm?
Mm-hmm.
Donnie, you ever hear of a guy
Named Andrew Sterling?
Yeah, sure, chief.
Hasn't everybody?
Bye-bye, chief.
Good night, now.
Boy, you know, he looks tired.
Maybe he has a headache.
There is no burglar, there is no hostage,
And there's no crime being committed.
What about a gun, chief?
A black guy pointed a gun right at me.
That was Andrew Sterling
Trying to turn off his goddamn car alarm.
And thanks to you and those two idiots in there,
We goddamn near killed a man in his own home.
God, if this gets out,
They'll crucify me, come election day.
Wait a minute.
I've got an idea.
It's crazy, but I got an idea.
Amos Odell... what do we have here?
Couple of drunk and disorderly convictions,
Contributing to the delinquency of a minor charge.
What do you have to say about that?
She looked 18.
Let's cut the crap, okay?
You hopscotch your way across five states.
You end up on my island in a stolen car.
It was her father's car. She gave me the keys.
And I suppose I could find out what a sawed-off shotgun
And a bunch of small bills were doing in the trunk?
Well, sir, I suppose you could.
I suppose I could, too.
This is your lucky day, pal.
I got a little proposition for you.
Now, you're not exactly
What I'd call a professional,
But, uh, unless you cooperate with us,
I'm sure I could convince a, uh, judge
That you're what we in law enforcement
Call a career criminal.
You know what I mean?
♪
You know what the voters in this county
Are most concerned with?
Crime.
That's right...
Law and order.
Fighting crime is just as important to my constituents
As taxes and spending.
Are you listening to me?
Uh, yes, sir.
I go in, take the guy hostage,
Give myself up,
And I'm on the first bus out of town.
Ain't that the deal, boss?
That's the deal.
Just make sure that bus finds Canada, and you're on it.
Mr. Sterling?
Where have you been?
Listen to me.
We're coming in after you.
Oh, one more thing...
Do you have a weapon?
Just a frying pan.
Look, I want you in and out of there, you understand?
In and out.
Get your camera, Ernie.
We're back in business.
That does it!
I'm calling the local station.
There's no reason this can't be on the 11:00 news.
I heard shots.
Don't worry, he was shooting at us.
Where is he now?
And you were right about him being armed to the teeth.
All right. He's in an upstairs bedroom.
Wait a minute.
Hey.
Hold it. Hold it.
Watch out.
He's got a frying pan.
Scary.
Come on, Donnie.
Time for a little spin control.
What was that?
I hear something.
Someone's coming up the stairs.
Don't make a sound, Mr. Sterling.
He doesn't know where you are.
I know you're in here.
Mr. Sterling?
Come out from under the bed.
All right. Get up. Get up. Come on.
All right, turn around.
Let's get a good look at you.
What, uh... what are you doing in here?
This is my house.
No kidding? This is your house? You own this place?
Yes.
I own this place.
Sure you ain't the cook here?
Listen to me.
I bought this house. I paid cash for it.
I own it.
It appears, uh, he bought the house over the winter.
Of course, we're... Proud to have him here.
It's just too bad about this jailbreak.
It's, uh, not a very nice welcome to the island.
Don't worry, bro.
This is just for appearances.
I'm not your brother.
Nothing personal.
Well, stick around, old buddy.
You may get that TV show of yours yet.
Come on, Donnie, let's go.
Hope you don't mind, but I could really use a beer.
You're an assassin, aren't you?
That's the one thing about jail...
No beer.
That and no women,
But I was having one of them delivered.
You tried to kill me.
Why would I want to kill you?
Because I'm a thorn in the side of the white man.
I'm the voice of my people...
A loud, angry voice
That's not afraid to speak the truth about white America.
What's your name?
Andrew Sterling.
Mr. Sterling, apart from being a thorn
In the side of the white man,
You got a regular job?
I hold a PhD in cultural anthropology.
I teach, I lecture,
I produce and direct.
I'm also the author of a Broadway play,
Now a motion picture.
What's it called?
"Yo, Brother, Where Art Thou?"
Yo, brother, where art thou?
Never heard of it.
Maybe you've heard of the Pulitzer prize.
You won that?
I did.
How much you win?
Who sent you here?
Do you work for the government?
Because I know the FBI keeps extensive files on me.
As a matter of fact, I've seen them.
I wonder if they got one on me.
I want to know who sent you here to kill me.
I have a shotgun.
You have a frying pan.
If I was here to kill you,
You'd better believe, bro,
You'd be a dead man by now.
I told you before...
I know. You're not my brother.
Yo.
This is police chief, Cecil Tolliver.
The house is completely surrounded.
There is no escape.
Hey, you know who I got in here?
Yes, I do.
I mean, some black dude.
Some black dude's living in this house.
That doesn't matter.
What matters is you let him go and come out of there.
If you ask me, he's got kind of an attitude problem.
You going to make me come in there after you?
Uh, okay, okay. He's got kind Ofan attitude problem.
You do remember our deal...
No names, no faces,
Nobody knows nothing.
I give myself up, he's got kind of an attitude problem.
And I'm on the first bus out of town.
It's the press.
Okay?
The press?
The real press.
Hey. Okay?
Are you there?
Make it 10 minutes.
10 minutes?
You heard me.
bring it back around here!
we need a ladder.
Why read the gossip column
When you can read the front page?
Get my necktie out of the car.
Got a cold?
Hay fever.
You got hay fever? I got hay fever.
Only from cutting the grass.
Put me where they just mowed the lawn, I'm a goner.
I get it bad.
What time is it?
That's a nice watch.
I've seen a watch like that in a magazine once.
I sure wish I could get me a watch like that someday.
I doubt you could afford it.
Who said anything about buying one?
Donnie...
Yeah, chief.
Get those other guys up here, okay?
I need some crowd control
And an eye kept on the people of the press.
I don't want another Vietnam out here.
Roger that, chief.
No more Vietnamese.
I'm standing live on a dark country road,
Where after tense negotiations
An armed assailant seems finally ready to release the hostage.
Escape, assault with a deadly weapon,
Uh, kidnapping.
You can add those to a long list of prior convictions.
His name is Amos Odell.
He's what we, in law enforcement,
Refer to as a career criminal.
What do you know?
Excuse me. I've got a job to do.
You can bet them cops out there get half a chance,
They're going to pull the plug on me
Like a tub full of dirty water.
Donnie.
this is...
This is the chief of police.
Come out of the house with your hands up.
Thank you.
there he is!
What's that son of a bitch doing?
Holy mackerel. That's Andrew Sterling.
That's Andrew Sterling?
Put your weapon down. Let your hostage go.
All right, listen up!
I want a million dollars,
And, uh... and a helicopter,
Or I blow him away!
Thank you.
Fenton, you'll mess up your nail polish.
Quiet.
Andrew Sterling, the noted black author,
Scholar, and celebrity,
And the man holding him hostage in his exclusive island home.
I told you, brother.
I told you about those so-called liberals
Up there on that damn island.
Hey, chief...
D.A.'s going to send some backup
And a hostage negotiating expert down to help out.
Tell him not to bother.
This won't last much longer.
A million dollars and a helicopter.
My, aren't we original?
Ain't that what everyone wants?
Money and a chance to escape?
I just said it to stall them.
Exactly how did someone like you
End up on this island anyway?
I thought it was Canada.
I beg your pardon?
I don't know. I'm from Pittsburgh.
I've never been up here before.
I must've been thinking about some other island.
Incredible.
Yeah, well, I flunked geography,
And my sense of direction sucks.
Anyway, I'd had a couple of beers,
And I tried to change some American money into Canadian.
Mostly small bills.
I guess those people at the bank
Got a little suspicious,
'cause the next thing you know,
The cops showed up, and I was busted.
Amos Odell.
You stay back.
Don't you come any closer!
Give me the gun, Amos.
Why don't you just go ahead and shoot the nigger?
We don't want him on this island anyway.
Drop the gun, Amos.
You're not a killer.
You're just a cheap opportunist.
Yeah? Well, that makes two of us then, don't it?
Yeah.
Ohh!
Oh, I'm sorry about that nigger thing, Mr. Sterling.
I just said it in order to...
Nigger that!
I hate to do this to you. I really do.
But if I'm ever going to make it to Canada,
It looks like I got to have at least one ace up my sleeve.
Shirley, the Reverend Fenton Brunch here.
We have an emergency situation on our hands.
We have to call out the troops.
I know it's the middle of the night.
Pay them if you have to.
This is network television.
We need every man, woman and child we can get.
Chief, do you read me? Over.
Stan, earl, Riley...
You guys better forget about those press people.
We got no one down here around this house.
roger. We're on our way.
Chief, can you hear me? Over.
Turn around.
Catch.
Chief, are you okay?
Let's go.
Donnie, I'm moving around the side of the house.
Hey, there.
Hi.
What are you doing up here?
This is big enough for the networks to cover.
They won't want what we can give them.
Does this mean we won't be on TV?
Even worse...
The chief of police confiscated the tape.
He can't do that.
he did.
Sounds like a violation of your first amendment rights.
That's what I said.
I have half a mind to make a stink about this.
Phil was one of the lawyers for the Chicago Seven.
He even got his picture in Life magazine.
I was an associate, actually,
Just out of law school.
He handles personal injury cases now.
Yes, but if I had the time, there's nothing I'd like more
Than to argue the fine points of the constitution.
Well, where to now, Magellan?
Oh, no. It's that dog again.
I bet the whole neighborhood's in on this.
Don't look like anybody's home.
Good boy. Good boy.
Doggy, doggy, doggy...
Good boy. Quiet.
Quiet!
Sit!
Keep that animal away from me.
Hey, look at that.
I think he wants to shake hands with you.
I'm not shaking that dog's hand.
You'll hurt his feelings if you don't shake his hand.
No.
You think he's going to hurt you?
I'm allergic to dogs.
You're allergic to dogs,
And you have hay fever.
Yes.
I'm allergic to dogs, and I have hay fever.
That's too bad.
Anyway, to him, I'm probably just another nigger.
Dogs are color-blind.
I can look at this dog
And tell he doesn't like black people.
Well, one thing is for sure...
He won't like the next one that comes in here
If you don't shake his hand.
Paw.
Dr. R.A. Fink, criminal psychologist
And freelance hostage crisis counselor.
Dr. Fink.
Call me Roy.
Come now, brothers and sisters!
I want the sun to rise
On an ocean of black anger
At the injustices of a racist community
Whose goal is to keep a black man from living
Where he wants to live!
Yeah! Yeah!
Come on, now!
Get on them buses!
Come on, now! Come on!
now we're talking.
Damn.
What's the matter?
I thought all people like you knew how to steal cars.
You watch too much TV, man.
And I ain't no car thief.
Never stole a car in my life
Where somebody didn't give me the keys first.
Hmm.
No car keys in there.
White people!
Hello, Amos.
This is Dr. R.A. Fink...
Well, but you can call me Roy
If you like.
I'm here to help you.
I'd like to be your friend,
Amos.
Would you like to be...
My friend?
look what I found.
Hidden treasure.
Why don't you get out of here while you can?
And do what, walk to Canada?
Liar.
I think maybe it's you who watches too much television.
Not all black people use drugs.
The ones I know do.
See, he likes you.
He just had to get to know you, that's all.
Guess you probably didn't have a dog, growing up, huh?
Oh, we had a dog.
I thought you said you were allergic to dogs.
I got shots.
I went in every week,
And the doctor gave me allergy shots.
I hate shots. I hate needles.
What about those tattoos?
Didn't they use needles?
Well, that's different.
I was drunk.
We never had no pets when I was a kid.
My old man didn't like animals, except to shoot.
He wouldn't even let me have Sea-Monkeys.
What are sea monkeys?
You know what Sea-Monkeys are.
They sell them on the backs of comic books and magazines.
You've seen the ads.
No.
You put them in water, and it's like you got
This city of creatures, all your own.
I always wanted Sea-Monkeys,
'cause they looked really happy in the pictures.
They swim all around, smiling, laughing...
Whole family of them.
Yeah.
I guess I wanted my family to be
More like a sea monkey family.
So, after my old man leaves home for good,
I start asking my old lady for Sea-Monkeys,
And every birthday
And every Christmas.
Finally, she gets so sick and tired of listening to me,
That she sends away for them.
Yeah, she sent away for them.
And I was...
I was pretty excited when they came.
What happened?
What?
What happened?
Nothing.
I poured that stuff in the water,
And I waited and waited,
And it just got all dirty and full of scum,
And finally, my old lady had to flush it down the toilet.
Yeah, but, you know, what the hell?
I never really could follow directions.
Ow!
Hey, you cops,
Can you hear me?
Who is it?
It's him. It's Amos Odell.
How'd he get a walkie-talkie?
Chief.
He's got the chief.
Hey, you guys out there?
This is officer Donaldson.
Where's my million dollars and my helicopter?
Just hold on a minute, Amos.
I need to know if the chief is okay.
Okay?
I knew it.
These dumb cops think we're still in the other house.
On my honor, officer Donaldson,
Sir,
He's okay.
Let him go to the window so we can see him.
Well, what if I told you we weren't in the house?
Well, then I would have to say
That you're a liar, Amos.
Hey!
Don't talk to me about lying!
Don't make him mad.
Whatever you do, don't make him mad.
It's all right, Amos.
We just don't want anyone to get hurt,
That's all.
Then get me my money and my chopper and be quick about it.
That's all.
Good night.
He's gone.
Uh, I'm going to go call him in private.
He's reaching out.
He seems to want to communicate now.
Oh! Oh, I'm sorry.
♪
You want my sweater, honey?
No.
I'm going to go back.
The dog needs to get out anyway.
You sure? I'm fine.
You know what Rommel does to the house
If he's cooped up for very long.
You got a family?
I have a wife.
Yeah, I had one of them once.
You want to call her?
She's on her way to Boston to visit her sister.
Well, we can
Call her there.
Maybe she's seen you on the news.
Let's leave my wife out of this, okay?
You tie one of these?
Your wife's white, isn't she?
You think you've got it all figured out, don't you?
Hey, I see it all the time.
Black man makes a name for himself,
Gets a little money in his pocket.
Next thing you know,
He's got a skinny little blonde with a tit job.
And he's living large in a fancy-ass neighborhood,
Just trying to forget who he is
And where he comes from.
Careful now.
You ever been to New York City?
Uh-uh.
I grew up in New York.
We lived in a nice part of Harlem.
When I was 12,
I came home one day with some friends.
We were talking loudly and
Using the slang we'd learned in the streets.
My father overheard us.
He told my friends to leave.
Then he marched me into the bathroom
And washed my mouth out with soap.
It was because he didn't want me sounding black.
He was an educated man, my father.
He had a college degree,
Just like his father.
He was an accountant,
Just like his father.
He worked for a big New York firm.
There were only two black men in the whole building...
My father
And the janitor.
After 38 years,
He retired, a full partner.
Less than a week later
He died.
Not one person from that job
Came to his funeral.
38 years of his life
And not one white face.
Only that broken-down old janitor
Cared enough to show up.
My father made it in the white man's world.
He wanted his son to make it
In the white man's world, too.
But don't you, for one second,
Think that I've forgotten who I am
Or where I come from.
Well, Amos,
I just think that we're probably very much alike,
Because I can be very passionate
And demanding
And, uh...
And have quite a temper.
Actually, I have...
A very serious temper.
But we really must be able
To discuss our problems
And resolve them in ways that society deems acceptable.
Mmm!
Violence is never the answer.
Uh, yeah, the name is Rommel.
R-o-m-m-e-l.
And that's, uh,
49, old country road.
That's right.
Yeah, one giant combination with everything on it.
Okay, sugar.
Bye.
You ordered a pizza?
Hey, man, I didn't order a pizza.
I ordered a pizza truck.
Hi, baby.
Aah! Aah! What?
Oh, my God.
Mr. And Mrs. Rommel, I presume?
Please don't hurt us.
We know who you are. Take whatever you want.
Cash, jewelry.
We got a stereo, a TV,
Cameras.
Oh, I have a very valuable baseball card collection.
Ted Williams, rookie year.
Mint condition.
We could write you a check.
Quiet!
Sit!
Ha, ha, ha.
Not you.
Sit down.
You live here?
Well... During the season.
"During the season"?
What season? What's he talking about?
Just make him give you the car keys and get out of here.
not the car.
That car was an anniversary present from my wife.
I'm sorry,
But I'm in kind of a tight spot.
Fork them over.
No, not me.
That was his second wife.
Get up.
Are you married, Mr. Sterling?
May I call you Andrew?
He don't like talking about his wife.
Oh.
She's white.
I never said that.
Oh, um...
Well, Bob and Rita Beeson
Were very good friends of ours,
And we'd love the opportunity
To get to know you and your wife.
Even if she is white.
Donnie, I bet if we wait long enough,
He'll probably just
Give himself up.
What about the chief?
Well, what are you going to do?
In an election year?
I remember my 11th birthday.
I had a party,
And my mom and dad hired a clown.
He was a very, very funny clown,
And he juggled and did magic tricks.
My friend ruby peed on the floor.
She was embarrassed, but I had a good time.
And then the next year, my mom
Called his house to hire him for my 12th birthday.
His wife answers the phone,
And she says,
"I'm sorry. He's not a clown anymore.
"he's at school learning how to be a dental technician."
I don't think I'll ever forget that moment.
This key doesn't work, that key doesn't work.
What... what is this?
What, the key to the doghouse?
Where are the car keys, Mr. Rommel?
Give me the damn keys!
All right.
Ah, Jesus.
Open the door.
Then I had a rabbit.
His name was nosy.
I really loved him, but, um...
He scratched me,
And he had to be returned to the pet store.
Then I wanted a pony.
Oh, God, how I wanted a pony.
They gave me turtles.
I had 15 turtles,
And they lived in a really big tank,
And we put in palm trees.
They were plastic.
I had a lot of small animals, but I...
I never gave up on that pony.
hold your fire!
go get him!
Open the door.
Whose side are you on, anyway?
Open the door!
Open the goddamn door!
Oh, oh!
Ow.
Uhh.
Uhh!
Aah!
I want those keys.
Amos Odell,
This is the chief of police.
Oh, thank God.
They've found us.
I know you're in there. I know you can hear me.
All right, back in the house!
I'm going to give you one more chance
To put your weapon down and come out of that house.
everybody on the floor!
stay away from those windows.
You don't think he's done anything
To hurt anybody, do you, chief?
I heard the two of them talking upstairs.
Sounded like they were getting pretty chummy to me.
How about it, Amos?
You coming out of there?
Give it up, man.
Those cops will kill us all.
Please.
I can recommend a good lawyer.
I recommend you shut up.
Ain't you forgetting something, boss?
You got to be dreaming
If you think holding Andrew Sterling hostage
Is going to save your ass.
When I get my hands on Mr. Sterling,
I'm going to charge him with attempted murder.
Well, then I guess you ain't heard the good news.
Say something, Mr. Rommel.
No tricks.
Hello.
Hi.
That Sterling fella
Must've had guests for the weekend.
How'd you like them apples?
What do you want, Amos?
You give me a million dollars,
I give you a hostage.
You give me a helicopter,
I give you a hostage.
You let me fly out of here...
All right. I saw the damn movie.
It's going to take a little time, though.
Well, we ain't going nowhere, boss.
Give me a hand.
Oh.
Where the hell is Donaldson?
I don't know, chief.
He was here just a while ago.
Nacho cheese, Mr. Sterling?
Look on the bright side, homeboy.
At least you're getting to know your neighbors.
Ain't that right, Mr. Rommel?
I wish you would stop calling me Mr. Rommel.
My name is Gillman...
Phil Gillman.
Phil Gillman?
That name rings a bell.
Phil was one of the lawyers for the Chicago Seven.
Yeah, well, that was a while ago.
"Hostage drama.
"Interview with Phil and Judy Gillman."
What's that?
You tell me.
Oh, my God.
They spelled my name wrong.
What is it anyway?
Nothing. It's nothing.
It's double "I."
Let's have a look at that thing.
No. No.
Oh, no.
Oh, no, no, no.
You don't have to...
There's really nothing very important.
Uhh!
Aah!
Whoa!
Mr. And Mrs. Gillman.
Uhh. Uhh.
Well...
What's on this, Phil?
Something kinky?
When you see a black man on this island
With his arms full of stereo equipment,
You know damn good and well what he's doing.
We called the police right away.
You know damn good and well what he's doing.
We called the police right away.
Talk about the sky falling.
We... we thought...
I know what you thought.
It was... it was an honest mistake.
It was supposed to be different.
It was supposed to be the kind of place
Where you don't lock your doors at night.
Where you don't count your change
At the grocery store.
Where a man in his own home
Doesn't have to worry about being shot at
And nearly killed by the local police
Simply because he's black!
you know, if that's true,
You have one heck of a lawsuit pending.
Come on.
Mr. Rommel...
You ordered a large combination?
Smells good.
How'd you get past the police?
What police?
Hmm.
well, what's so funny?
The chief of police ain't going to look too smart
When they find out
He's been watching an empty house all night.
What's your name?
Stacy.
I'm Amos. Yeah, I know.
We've been watching you all night at the pizza parlor.
You're a lot cuter than your picture.
Oh.
Thank you.
Um...
You're not
Scared, are you, Stacy?
Of what?
♪ We are marchin' up the mountain ♪
♪ With the lord above
♪ we will
♪ win somehow
♪ hey, hey, hey
♪ we are marchin' up the
♪ mountain
♪ with the lord above
♪ we'll win somehow
♪ hey, hey, hey, hey
So, why are you riding that motorbike, huh?
I thought you had a delivery truck.
Uh, I ride the motorbike to work.
I'm actually on my way home.
You live on this island?
I live on the mainland.
I work at the pizza parlor during the summers.
Um...
So, how old are you, Stacy?
17.
You got a boyfriend?
Yeah.
Are you in love with him?
Not really.
You sure are pretty.
You ever been to Canada?
No.
That's where I was headed
Before all this happened.
Yeah.
I guess it's cold up there.
Guess it all depends.
Um...
Call me.
Wait a second.
We think he had a gun.
I never had a gun.
You still don't get it, do you, man?
Yeah, I get it.
They used you to save themselves.
Now you're catching on.
Huh, huh.
What do you think he's going to do with that?
I want you to give this
To one of them reporters.
They'll know what to do with it.
What about you? What's going to happen to you?
Don't you worry about me.
I think Mr. Rommel in there
Is going to give me the keys to his car.
there's troops coming in!
Amos,
The helicopter is here.
How about my million dollars?
You got my million dollars?
Don't worry. You'll get your money.
Every last dime of it.
Trust me.
Ready when you are, boss.
I'm standing live
On a dark country road
Where, after tense negotiations,
An armed assailant seems finally ready
To release the hostages he's held
Since escaping from jail earlier in the evening...
Freeze!
when I was 12 1/2, we moved to this building
Where the elevator men were really mean to me.
When I was 13,
I was Barmitzvahed in Boston Garden.
My Dad was a personal friend of Red Auerbach.
Let's go!
go! Let's move it! We're going in!
Go! Go! Let's go! Let's move it!
Come on, hurry up!
Come on!
Police!
Okay, I'll cover the back stairs.
there's nothing back there?
watch out.
Detective Holwitz!
I'm with you.
No sign of them, chief. We checked everywhere.
Call Bloodhound Bob.
Tell him to bring the twins out here.
We'll find them.
Chief Tolliver!
Chief Tolliver, we found him.
All right, Amos, where are they?
Ohh...
Where are they, Gillman?
Please, don't take my car.
All right,
You have 3 seconds to tell me
Where them keys are,
Or else...
Or else what?
One,
Two...
He won't do it.
Do what?
I'll do it.
Do what?
Three!
No, he won't. He's not a killer.
He doesn't have it in him.
What'd you go and tell them that for?
Because it's true.
Now what?
What are you doing?
What's he doing?
When you see a black man on this island
With the key to a $50,000 car in his hand,
You know damn good and well what he's doing.
Don't worry, Phil,
I'll drive careful.
Pervert.
What did you do with them, Amos?
Answer me!
Donnie?
That's not Donnie.
That's Amos Odell.
Read him his rights
And get him the hell out of here.
Do it!
Amos Odell, you have the right to remain silent.
Sherman, get on up there and let them know
That reverend Fenton Brunch is here,
And he means business!
okay, you drive.
Get in.
Hey, get out!
Go on, get in.
Get in the car.
No. You're going to have to get yourself
Another nigger to hold hostage.
Look. I ain't holding you hostage anymore, okay?
But you got to know we're in this together,
All right. You and me. Amos and Andrew.
Let's go. Don't say that.
What?
Our names...
Together.
W-why?
Well, I'll spare you the history lesson.
Besides, you wouldn't understand.
What do you mean I wouldn't understand?
You don't understand, man.
We're gangsters. We're outlaws.
"Gangsters"? "Outlaws"?
You're a nickel-and-dime criminal, a petty crook,
And you need to figure out very quickly
Where it is you think you're going,
Because, let me tell you, white boy,
You are definitely headed in the wrong direction.
I've had enough of this.
I'm going home.
Petty crook...
Oh, yeah?
What about you?
You think the whole world's against you
Just because you're black.
If something don't go your way,
It's because you're black.
They're out of beer, it's because you're black.
It rains and you get wet,
It's because you're a black man.
You saw for yourself there ain't no conspiracy here.
No plot to get you off the island.
Nobody trying to assassinate you.
That's all just as crazy as thinking
That everybody with black skin is your brother.
What do you know about black skin?
I know for all your talk,
You're about the whitest damn black man I've ever met.
Aah!
Would you move out of the way, please?
As you just saw Amos Odell being led away,
The whereabouts of his hostages,
Including black entertainer, Andrew Sterling,
Are still unknown.
Where is Brother Sterling?
What have they done to Brother Sterling?
Reverend Brunch?
Excuse me, Wendy.
Where is Brother Sterling?
Aah!
Aah! Aah!
Oh, God.
I told you about fresh-mowed grass.
Gets me every time.
There may be some truth
To what you said about me...
Ah-choo!
But don't you think I should be able
To set up a stereo in my own home
Without being mistaken for a thief?
Free Brother Sterling!
Chief, Bloodhound Bob's here!
Hey, chief! We've been watching on the TV.
The twins never tracked nobody in no house before,
But we'll find them.
Listen to me, brothers and sisters!
A crime has been committed here tonight!
We got 'em. We're hot on their trail now!
A crime against black people everywhere!
All you people out there, disperse!
We are here to protect Brother Sterling,
And his property!
You! You, move out!
We want Brother Sterling! We know he's in the house!
He is not in the house.
He is in the house!
No, he isn't. Yes, he's in there!
I know you, you New York liberal!
Fascist!
You people aren't welcome here.
Go back where you belong!
We'll get Brother Sterling ourselves!
Come on! Forward!
Free Brother Sterling!
Look what you did, man!
Free Brother Sterling!
Give us Brother Sterling!
You gone set the man's house on fire.
Damn!
I told the brother about these so-called liberals
Up here on this damn island.
Fenton, you're just full of it.
You dragged me out... look, I told him.
Get him, girls! Get him!
May I help you, young lady?
Are you a reporter?
Some people think so, yeah.
I'm supposed to give this to a reporter.
Where did you get this?
He said you'd know what to do with it.
Ernie...
Do you know what we have here?
Prime time.
More.
We got a movie of the week.
Maybe even a miniseries.
So, thanks to swift and efficient police action,
This island has not fallen prey to criminal elements.
The lives and property of its inhabitants
Are well protected by
The cream of law enforcement.
What about Andrew Sterling?
I've said this before.
We're proud to have Andrew Sterling on this island.
Hey, what are you doing? You crazy?
Hey, come back here!
Get in!
I don't care what you say. Dogs really like you.
What?
Aah!
Hang on!
Ohh!
What the heck is that?
That... Is my brand-new summer home.
That just makes me want to...
You know?
What's the matter with you?
It's my house.
I just hate the thought of that guy getting the best of us.
Who?
"Cecil Tolliver."
What are you doing?
What goes around
Comes around.
Hey, dogs! Over here!
What are you, crazy? Those are bloodhounds, man.
That's not the family pet. They hunt people for a living.
Hey, dogs, over here!
Whoa!
Good doggies.
Here, smell, smell. Here.
Here, smell it. Smell it. Go!
That's... that'll... that'll do it.
That will work.
Go get him! Go! Get him!
You have a criminal mind.
What effects will tonight's events
Have on your future?
Oh, my God. If you're trying to imply
That I've given a moment's thought
To November's election...
oh, chief,
I wonder if the good people of the press
Would be interested in the contents of this tape?
sir? Sir? Chief?
Chief, can you give us a statement about that?
Oh, get a picture of this! Quick! Quick!
Chief?
what's on that tape?
can you tell us your name?
My name is Waldo Lake.
Ow!
Ooh! Aah!
Name, please.
Sterling. Mrs. Andrew Sterling.
I have a reservation.
Mrs. Sterling.
I think this is your stop.
Wait a minute.
Oh, um...
Here's your watch back.
Keep it.
Whoa.
Thanks, bro.
You're welcome...
Brother.
Hey, baby.
Oh.
Oh, what was that for?
Oh, just glad to see you, that's all.
And how was your first night on the island?
Well, let me just say that
I think the house is going to need
A little more work than we thought.
Yeow!
Okay, Canada,
Here I come.
Yeah.
♪ You can check my blackness ♪
♪ Fact is, I'm rough as a cactus ♪
♪ Now I gotta change what I practice ♪
♪ So I went to the suburbs ♪
♪ And bought me a big house ♪
♪ And now they want to run a brother out ♪
♪ I'm a well-educated young maker of revenue ♪
♪ Rollin' in a big black BMW ♪
♪ So I'm supposed to fit
♪ because I'm straight legit ♪
♪ But the police still wanna trip ♪
♪ They accuse me of robbin' myself ♪
♪ Never seen a brother with wealth ♪
♪ Hell, I thought I was big ♪
♪ And now I'm trapped in a house ♪
♪ 'Cause the cops got my crib staked out ♪
♪ The police chief is runnin' for commissioner ♪
♪ But if I get out of this
♪ chief, I'm gettin' ya
♪ chief needs a cover-up plan ♪
♪ 'Cause he heard I'm famous ♪
♪ Called a crazy white boy name was Amos ♪
♪ I thought Amos was a burg-a-lar ♪
♪ But when he saw me he said ♪
♪ "I never heard of ya"
♪ he couldn't tell north from south ♪
♪ But Amos was my only way out ♪
♪ Of this Suburbian Nightmare ♪
♪ Ha
♪ uhh
♪ my Suburbian nightmare ♪
♪ I may not look like beaver ♪
♪ But you don't either
♪ I bought a big house for the breather ♪
♪ Even in the suburbs
♪ cops are my enemy
♪ and all the rich liberals ain't friendly ♪
♪ So Amos got a shotgun and I got a skillet ♪
♪ Anything move, and I'm-a straight out kill it ♪
♪ I'm a black man on the come-up ♪
♪ I got done up and roughed up ♪
♪ By a cop tryin' to get hooked up ♪
♪ I got a mil and I just sealed ♪
♪ 2 more deals and now I'm runnin' from the cops ♪
♪ This ain't real
♪ you see, the cops sent Amos in to play that role ♪
♪ Be a burglar and rob my home ♪
♪ They offered him a deal and then took it back ♪
♪ Old Amos should've signed them a contract ♪
♪ Chief walks in talkin' that nigger smack ♪
ow!
nigger that.
♪ now they want me for attempted murder ♪
♪ The craziest case that a brother ever heard of ♪
♪ The neighborhood fears me ♪
♪ They're scared to get near me ♪
♪ The cops wanna smear me
♪ my Suburbian nightmare
♪ Suburbian nightmare
♪ I used to eat pig feet
♪ now I'm eatin' lobster
♪ gettin' my check
♪ boy, the hell with them propers ♪
♪ Life still ain't changed
♪ 'cause I gotta get my hustle on ♪
♪ Just to get these cops goin' ♪
♪ 4 or 5 mil can't make my race change ♪
♪ It can make the place change ♪
♪ But it won't maintain
♪ I can't go outside the door ♪
♪ 'Cause my next-door neighbor got a prejudiced dog ♪
♪ But it's America home of the free ♪
♪ Life in the burbs ain't nothin' like TV ♪
♪ Now I'm runnin' from the cop clan ♪
♪ 'Cause my neighborhood told the cops ♪
it was a black man.
♪ Mr. And Mrs. Gillman next door ♪
♪ Puffin' on a joint
♪ kinky to the core
♪ and that's the typical role model ♪
♪ White picket fence big house, and a bottle ♪
♪ Who can I blame for the stereotypical mix-up? ♪
♪ The innocent again get tripped up ♪
♪ Things is supposed to change ♪
♪ When you grow to my size ♪
♪ Open your eyes to my Suburbian nightmare ♪
♪ Uhh
♪ my Suburbian nightmare
♪ uh
Yo, Amos, hook up the pizza, homey.
♪ My Suburbian nightmare
Misty! Mindy! Come back here!
You hear your daddy? Come back here!
Listen to your daddy!
Come back here! Come back here!
Come back! Come on!