[Vehicles passing]
[Indistinct conversations]
[Dramatic music]
- Oh! Fuck. - Oh, you okay?
Yeah. Yeah. No, no, no. I'm good. I'm good.
- My bad. - Hey, it's okay, man.
If ever there was a sign to quit smokin', right?
- It's fine. - Jonesey?
- No way. - I can't believe it.
- Hi. - Hey.
- It's been forever. - I know.
Uh, you look the same.
Thanks. You look older.
- This is nuts, right? - Yeah. This is crazy.
Um, do you live around here now?
No, no. I mean, I'm here sometimes.
But Chicago or... or L.A. mostly. So...
I thought I'd never see you again.
[Chuckles]
Your ears are really red.
You... you feelin' okay?
Yeah. I'm freezin'.
Hey, you should dress warmer.
You wanna get a drink or something?
It's after 2:00. I...
Yeah. Uh...
You know, I'm... I'm staying here tonight
if you wanna come up for a minute.
- Where, here? - Yeah.
Like, the hotel here?
Yeah, this one.
Sure.
Good.
[Laughs] Thanks.
God, it's good to see you.
It's really good to see you, too.
[Elevator bell dings]
- He looks like you.
[Both laugh]
- This hallway reminds me of "The Shining."
[Faint thumping]
I always passed this place. Never been inside.
Wait. Do you... do you hear that?
What? [Thumping continues]
That.
I heard it in the hallway, too.
You can't hear that?
Yeah, now, I guess. Sure.
I mean, I have, like, super-hearing.
- I don't remember that. - Yeah.
I went to get my ears checked, and they were like,
"You have the pristine ears of a 5-year-old boy."
[Thumping stops] - That's a weird thing to say.
You gonna take your jacket off or what?
- Yeah. Um... - Yeah.
You know, your ears are still really red.
They're burnin' like crazy.
Here. What's... what's wrong with you?
It's not a new thing.
I Googled "burning ears" for the diagnosis.
And turns out it's just an idiom for
when people are talking about you.
And where are your gloves?
I thought spring had sprung.
You know, if you don't have a hat and you don't have gloves,
what do you expect?
The glove thing is actually not my fault.
The saleswoman couldn't make up her mind
when she realized that I was between two sizes.
Same story with my feet.
Oh.
Never knew that.
Come here. Come here.
You're definitely not a large.
Oh, man. That's the big one.
[Chuckles]
And you need cuticle cream.
Enough about my extremities.
- Drinks! - Okay.
[Glass clinks]
All right. What can I throw ya?
Wow. Look at this setup.
I know. It's a great minibar.
Cashews and everything.
Think those are almonds.
Vodka rocks?
Um, that, neat.
- Bourbon? - Yeah.
All right.
[Ice clinks]
Cheers.
You know, I was gonna pitch the half-size thing.
I don't know if anyone would go for it.
Wait. What?
You know, like, medium-large, large-XL, small-medium.
Oh.
"To find that custom-fit feeling
without the custom prices."
That would be the tagline.
- Cool. - Yeah.
I don't... Anyway, it's just funny.
You could be my model, my medium-large guy.
- Is that good? - I don't know. It's not bad.
I'd say it's about average.
- So I'm average? - Ooh!
No, no. I didn't say that.
Just clothing-wise, you mean.
So what do you do?
You work, uh, for a company, or you work for yourself?
Both. I mean, I have my own line.
Yeah. They're givin' me a shot.
I'm opening up pop-up stores here,
Chicago, and L.A. next month.
So I've just been hotel hoppin', gettin' it together, you know?
Just hoppin' and poppin'.
- That's right. - Enviable.
[Chuckles]
I got a great name for your new line.
Okay. Well, already have one.
Oh. What is it?
Sweater Weather.
Not bad.
I have some ideas in my bag if you wanna see 'em.
Yeah, sure.
No, no, no. I got it.
So chivalrous all of a sudden.
[Unzips bag]
These are really good, Jules.
What?
Nothing.
I can feel that look. What's up?
[Chuckles lightly]
You're just...
You're more attentive than I remember.
Maybe you have a selective memory.
No, it's pretty accurate.
[Chuckles lightly]
You weren't the best guy.
[Cellphone ringing]
Have to take this.
[Door closes]
[Glass clinks]
Julia.
Julia Jones. Correct.
Crazy, right? No, no, no.
Don't put Danny on. No.
No, he's gonna freak. I-I know.
Look. Trust me. I wish I was there, too.
I was havin' a blast. But it's Julia.
I would never forgive myself.
And, hey, do me a favor. Could you keep the music down?
Our walls are practically shakin'.
All right. I'm turnin' my phone off.
Uh, okay. I got to go.
I got to go.
Jules?
Over here.
Where were we?
That was kinda sketchy.
Sorry about that. It was a client.
Wow.
What? It was.
No. I just mean I don't even know what you do.
Oh. Uh, well, it's boring.
I work at this start-up.
Um, never thought I'd be one of those guys.
You know, I didn't even use e-mail until I was 24.
Hmm.
And I hardly ever use this thing.
So no social networking?
No. They just use me for my business acumen.
Oh. [Chuckles lightly]
- Do you? - Do I what?
You know, do that kind of stuff,
write on walls and poke people?
It all sounds so Cro-Magnon.
Sort of.
So you never searched for me?
[Chuckles]
Aw. You seem shocked.
No. I just, um...
I don't know. I assumed you would have.
And why is that?
I think about you a lot.
[Chuckles] - Come on.
What? I do.
Um...
What? Do you think about me?
[Sighs]
Do you still paint?
No.
- Why not? - Long story.
So... what did they want?
Who?
The clients.
Oh, uh, nothing.
They just were wonderin' if I was still out and about.
We were together earlier.
Why'd you leave?
Needed that pack of smokes.
Mm.
What?
They just left you?
Well, you saw the state I was in.
Seemed like a good time to make an exit.
Yeah, but now, here you are, drinkin' more.
Well, this conversation is sobering.
I see.
So do you still listen to music?
Like, you know, the good stuff, not the club crap.
Well, I no longer have the pleasure of your mix tapes
and recommendations.
[Sighs] That is the real shame.
I'm sort of back to bein' a Top-40 guy.
[Chuckles]
Top-40 guy, huh?
Yikes.
[Kevin Drew's "Untitled 16" plays]
♪ They wanna run away without you
♪ They wanna change the idealities
Nuh-uh.
Come on. Come on.
♪ They wanna speak to Russian immigrants
♪ They wanna tell 'em how to fight
So if we haven't seen each other in 10 years...
Almost 11.
[Exhales sharply] Almost 11.
I mean, we met in the dorms.
So does that mean we've known each other
for 15 years?
I think so.
That's basically half our lives.
I think that's right.
You remember our cigarettes?
♪ They wanna try to speak in foreign tongue
When it was cold outside,
we'd smoke them in that little vestibule
between the front door and the lobby.
♪ So they can run, run, run with the best
Of course.
And most of the RAs were cool with it.
But some would rat us out.
♪ And they'll try to take all the seizures
God, we felt so old, so smart back then, right?
♪ And force the force right to the rest
You know, like it was all figured out.
That was half a life ago.
♪ And they won't come when you call
It's hard to believe.
It is.
♪ They won't come for you at all
You know, when I met you, I thought you were just
the coolest person in the world.
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.
Come on. You know that. I'm sure you get that a lot.
And as stupid as our conversations
probably were, like, all philosophical and brooding.
You know, those times, that...
that cigarette in that vestibule was just like a mirage.
You know, and just a little bit of pure happiness
that was probably overlooked at the time.
I don't know about that.
Oh, you think I'm aggrandizing it?
It's time to rest
Was it not special?
No, I'm saying
it just didn't take me 15 years to realize.
I knew it was special at the time.
You did?
Sure.
[Loud thump]
[Muffled hip-hop music playing]
Jules? What are you doin'?
I'm gonna go say something to the concierge.
You know, this is ridiculous. This hotel costs too much money.
While you're at it, will you fill me up?
- Ow! Jesus, Julia! - What happened?
The glass is chipped.
Fuck, I'm sorry!
It's fine. Just...
Sorry. I guess I drank it a little fast.
It's okay. What... What are you gettin' so worked up about?
I don't know. I'm sorry.
Stop apologizing, okay? I didn't mean to raise my voice.
Hey, I have some Band-Aids in my toiletry kit.
No it's okay. I got it. Just relax, all right?
Don't need to start a war tonight, okay?
[Hip-hop music continues]
Fuck, Jones.
Shit.
Nice, that could cut me.
Hurt my fuckin' finger, Jules.
[Water splashing]
[Sighs]
[Telephone ringing]
That's the ticket.
What's up?
It's for you.
Hello?
Room service.
Before I bumped into you, I ordered up some snacks.
They called to tell me they're out of mac 'n' cheese.
Yeah, hold on one... one second. Um...
Here. If you're hungry, add some stuff.
What'd you get?
Too much. The... The cheeseburger, fries, nachos.
Jesus.
Since we're eating healthy, I'd like to add an order
of the pancakes and the chicken tenders.
Yeah. Amazing.
I think so. Oh, and two Cokes.
No, two is good.
Thanks.
[Phone beeps]
Hm.
How are the pancakes?
Really good.
Oh, yeah. Those are really good.
[Chuckles] Mmm.
[Cutlery clinking]
What's up?
Why'd you bail on me?
I'm shocked that you refuse to justify it.
It was over a decade ago.
See, that's just it... For you, it's, like, a glitch in time.
I-I still remember the feeling.
You stood me up.
I still remember the awkward looks
that I got from the waiters and the condensation
that gathered on the side of my water glass
until I finally go back upstairs to the hotel room,
and you're... you're gone.
I mean, Jesus, Jules, I thought maybe you were dead,
you know, or murdered.
I go to call the cops.
And then, I see the note.
And then, 10 years pass.
11.
Explain yourself.
No.
Was it seedy? Was it fake?
I mean, something must've rubbed you the wrong way, right?
No.
I mean, we gave real life a try,
even though we were just playing dress-up.
I'd hardly call it a try. We didn't even make to dinner.
Something was off.
11 years later, all I get is, "Something was off."
How'd you even get home?
Did you, uh, did you catch another flight?
Oh, God. Come on. Gimme a break.
What?
You knew where I was.
No, I don't.
Think about it, Dylan.
You knew where I was.
God.
You do this. You play coy.
It bores me.
- Guess. - Rachel's?
Yes. Yeah.
I went to stay with the only other person
I knew in this city.
So God forbid you'd try to call me or find me
or make one last-ditch attempt to salvage us.
You're smart, Dylan. You can read people.
That's your thing.
So don't pretend like you didn't get what it meant
when I didn't show up to dinner.
I didn't. You've give me far too much credit.
11 years later, and I can throw around
some scenarios in my head.
Okay.
How about the most sound one?
You were nervous.
Yeah.
Yeah. I was...
I was nervous about settling down with someone
- who treated me like shit. - I treated you like shit?
Can you pass the fries, please?
Glad you have an appetite.
If I wasn't the best guy, I treated you like shit, I mean,
why'd you even have me up here?
- What time is it? - Somewhere to go?
- Stop pickin' a fight, Jones. - Hey, you brought it up.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
'Cause the dinner reminds you of a dinner
we never had 11 years ago.
Gimme a break.
Are you pouting?
You're a grown man, Dylan, and you're pouting.
[Scoffs]
[Table clatters] [Julia gasps]
My fuckin' smokes.
11 years, and nothing's changed.
Freshman year,
almost 2 years before we started dating,
I was up early one morning.
And I peeked in your room.
You were sittin' there with your...
your feet propped up on the desk.
And you were lookin' at flashcards.
And you were too busy to even...
pay me any mind.
This little beam of light was comin' in.
And that's all you had, so you didn't wake up your roommate.
And you were wearin' those glasses that you wear.
I always thought those glasses were so sexy on you.
And I almost lost my nerve,
but I put my hand on the doorknob,
and I'm about to push it in,
and that friend of yours that you know from back home
comes barrelling down the hallway toward me,
so I sort of act preoccupied, and I...
and I slip into the doorway across the hall.
And I catch you out of the corner of my eye...
flyin' by, pushin' him back down the hall to his room.
And I can smell your perfume. And...
it's... it's not strong.
It's like you had it on since the day before, so it's mellow.
And I follow the scent back to his room...
and I look in, and I can't really see him,
except for his legs out from underneath the covers.
And you're standin' there, and you take your top off.
♪ And I can't move, and I can't shake it
♪ It follows me like a wolf
My heart fuckin' shatters.
Not only was that the first time that I felt jealous,
that was the first time that I questioned fate.
And I don't know.
I guess it's just like that cigarette
in the vestibule or that time
we got in a fight wearin' Halloween costumes
at the concert in Ohio.
You just... You've turned everything into
these little scenes, these snapshots,
these Edward Hopper postcards.
- You done? - Yeah, I'm done.
- He had hypothermia. - Excuse me?
He was goofing around with some friends.
They'd stayed out all night drinking.
And somebody dared him to Polar Bear Club it in the lake.
So he came to my room and asked me what to do.
I crawled into his bed to give him my body heat.
He fell asleep.
And subsequently, I wasn't prepared for my test.
Mystery solved.
[Chuckles lightly]
Why didn't you say anything back then?
I don't know.
How's your brother?
He's good.
Did you see me at his graduation?
I was barely paying attention when my sister got her diploma.
My mom gave me hell because all the photos sucked.
I was busy scanning the arena looking for you.
Did you see me?
I think so.
You saw me...
'cause I saw you.
Why didn't you come over?
Why didn't you?
How's your mom?
Good.
What about Big Steve?
Guy could crush a walnut with his handshake.
Remember that time they had us up,
and your brother was out of town,
so I stayed in his room?
I loved you so much. You know what I did that night?
I put my ear up to the wall.
And, uh, I listened for you.
Your dad, man, he had that little tin
of, uh, Werther's Originals
and root beer barrels on his desk in his study
right underneath that Wildcat bust
and all those signed baseballs.
Man. That guy was old-school.
What's he up t...
[Sobs]
Jules?
He died, Dyl. [Sniffles]
- What? - Yeah.
He, uh...[Sobs]
He died a few years ago.
[Sniffles]
It just came so suddenly.
And it was so terrible.
[Sobbing]
You should've seen him at the end.
His...
His cheeks were all sunken in.
And his lips were all cut up.
And he just...
He looked like a little girl in his polka-dot gown.
[Sighs]
And he begged for us not to see him.
But, you know...
[Sniffles]
[Knock on door]
So much for do not disturb.
I'm gonna splash some water on my face.
- Can you take care of it? - Of course.
Ah, Julia Jones! [Laughs]
Where are you hidin' her? What the fuck?
- No! - No, I brought my own food.
- Here. - Come on. You gotta get out.
I gotta get in. I gotta get in.
Get out. Denny!
You have to share like a big boy.
Damn it, Denny!
[Laughs]
Here I come. Here I come.
Oh, no. Here I come.
Keep your voice down! Hey!
Where is she?
- Will you lower your voice? - No, shh, shh.
- What did Cole tell you? - Nothin'.
No, I overheard him talkin' to Trav.
It's not their fault. They tried to stop me.
But I can't be stopped.
You know this!
I need to drag you back up to the room
'cause you are missin' out.
Shh. - Listen...
Come on. Where's she hidin'?
- Shh. - Let's look. Huh?
- Denny, get out. - Jules! She's not there.
[Chuckles, laughs]
You have to leave, okay?
We're talkin' about some serious shit.
[Gasps] I bet.
Hey, did you tell her
that you're gettin' married in a month?
Oh, shit.
Jules!
Denny!
Mm!
You haven't changed a bit.
Come, now, my hair is thinning, and you know it.
Lemme look. Lemme look.
Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty.
As always.
We got hoagies upstairs.
Oh, I'm okay. Thanks.
Well, I was just wanting to say, "Hi."
But it seems that I have interrupted something.
No. No, no, no. You're fine.
Not at all.
Just hangin' out.
I wish you guys were closer.
I can't keep lookin' back and forth.
[Laughing] I can already feel the Jamo swimmin'
in the back of my head.
Oh.
Wait for it. Wait for it.
Can I interest anyone?
[Sniffs]
- Come on, man. - Do you mind?
No, no, no. I'm fine.
Knock yourself out.
Well, that's the opposite of what I'm try... [Chuckles]
trying to achieve. [Laughs]
Party time. Oh, look.
It's a little sandwich holder
right there that you guys got.
Got some glitter on you, Denny.
Well, that's the risk you run when you tangle
with the mythical tit monster.
[Laughs]
It's magical stripper fairy dust.
And, uh, they put it on you about your person.
And they encourage you to think happy thoughts
and fly like Peter Pan.
[Laughs]
So we can blame you for the rap soundtrack
we've had all night, then, huh?
You can thank me for it.
[Beatboxing]
Tit, tit-tit, tit, ti-ti-tit, tit
T-t-tit [Laughs]
Yo, let's get down on this.
Let's get down on this.
[Sniffs]
[Pounds table]
Hoo! That's the ticket.
[Sighs]
Hey.
- Hey. - No, I had a late lunch.
- So... - Oh.
Well... hey, I gotta tell ya,
it's a small world, right?
- Mm-hmm. - I mean, of all the gin joints
in all the towns, you had to pick this one.
Listen, sometimes a cigar isn't just a cigar.
Sometimes it... is...
a big dick. [Chuckles]
Yeah.
It's a big, fat dick you can smoke. [Laughs]
Good dick joke, Denny.
Good dick, Denny.
Thanks for checkin' in, Denny.
I'm gone. I'm gone.
Come here.
[Sniffs, sighs]
You look so handsome.
- All right. - I love you.
Okay.
- Jones. - Denny.
Always a pleasure. [Sniffs]
Oh, you smell good.
Thank you.
One for the lips for the road.
No, I think I'm good, thanks.
- Oh. - Ah.
- Got one. - You did. Sneaky.
[Chuckles] I sneaked her.
Okay. Bye. Thanks.
Wow.
I don't know what to say.
You don't owe me any explanation.
I mean, don't ask, don't tell, right?
We just hadn't gotten there yet.
Hey, it's okay.
No, I feel terrible. We were talkin' about your dad.
Okay. No.
L-Let's just... Let's drop it.
You know, let's just drop...
Wait.
Don't tell me that this is your bachelor party.
[Chuckles]
Yeah.
So...
They were the clients?
Technically, I have some done some business with Cole.
Liar.
[Glass clinks]
It's gettin' late. I should get goin'.
You mean get back to the prostitutes?
- It's not like that. - It's not?
Really? Go.
Okay, go if you wanna go.
That's the thing, Julia. I don't wanna go.
Okay. Then stay!
Stay, go, I really don't care either way.
Look, I know that I should have told you, okay?
I get it.
- How could you get it? - 'Cause I'm married.
[Chuckles]
Wait, what?
- Yeah. - When?
About a year ago.
That's not funny!
I'm not trying to be funny!
Are you trying to get back at me?
Because I realized I made a mistake,
but you caught me off guard downstairs.
We got to talking... - Dylan, I'm not...
- And I had... - No, I'm not mad.
I'm not trying to get back at you.
It's just...
I didn't wanna go there, but the conversation went there.
So now I don't think it's fair not to talk about him.
It undervalues them.
- Who? - Our significant others.
You know? Mine's Matthew.
Yours is...
What the f...
Marcie.
Her name's Marcie.
Marcie.
Great.
Okay then, Jones. Where's the ring?
If you're married,
where's the wedding ring?
It's in my bag.
I don't wear it to the trade shows.
Single girl gets better deals on fabric.
Do you love him?
Do I love my husband?
That's really what you're asking me?
Yeah.
Of course I love him. He's my husband.
Do you love her?
Well, we're engaged. So...
That's not an answer.
Yeah, I love her.
She's perfect for me. We balance each other well.
Then why do you look sad?
'Cause I don't know, Jules, what happened to us?
I don't know. We went over this already.
There's a lot here. You know?
I mean, what went wrong?
I don't know.
We were young.
Yeah, but what if it was right?
It wasn't.
Sometimes Marcie and I aren't on the same page.
Let's just say, she's very content that my painting career
turned into a lucrative start-up career.
So she's materialistic.
Not so much.
I just think she's dinner-party conscious.
Somehow, start-up fodder is more high-brow
than dwelling on acrylics.
What are you doing here?
First, I just wanted to catch up.
On your bachelor party?
Okay, what about you and Matt?
We have autonomous lives.
- That sounds miserable. - Stop projecting.
Sometimes I think he'd divorce me
if I ever started making more money than him.
But then again, I get to sleep at night thinking
that's true of most men with egos the size of barns.
Fuck. I'm being... I'm being hard on him.
As I'm sure you are her.
He wouldn't divorce me.
You know, he's obviously fantastic.
It's just that...
[Exhales deeply]
You know, if I came home one day
and found him with a musical instrument of something,
like, a piece of charcoal, and goddamn Xerox paper, you know,
then I'd know we were okay.
But as it stands, he just...
Fuck, he makes me feel like my work is trivial.
What are you doin'?
Thank you.
I had to put most of my work in storage.
Somebody has to tell her it's art
before it hangs on our wall.
Till then it's just paint.
I'm makin' her sound like an asshole. She's not.
It's just... It would be so easy
to say that everything is wonderful.
And most of the time, I do say that.
But... it's boring.
I guess I'm just tryin' to get at somethin'
a little bit deeper with you.
It's late.
We're livin' on borrowed time, so none of this really exists.
You made me feel good and safe.
I felt like I could do anything with you.
You know?
And I know we've had our problems.
Even with my selective memory, I know we had our problems.
But...
sometimes I miss you so much.
Fuck, it's not fair.
You know, it's because of those paintings,
it's because of your paintings,
that I continue to do my stuff.
And you're with Marcie.
And she doesn't get it.
And Matthew doesn't... get it.
I can't do the things with him that I could do with you.
You know, I do this dumb thing at my friend's gallery.
Like, I showcase these home movies that I edit together
from old VHS tapes.
I don't know. I glean my friends,
like, addicts in basements.
And... I don't know.
it's these priceless moments, you know,
just these perfect, little moments
that fit well together.
Mm. I keep pretending to ignore you when you say it.
But you know, it registers.
I miss you.
[Exhales deeply]
I miss you, too.
[Laughs]
[Chuckles]
You think that's a good idea?
What?
It's no different than a bathing suit.
Come on. What are you waiting for?
I don't have a tub at home, just an upright shower.
So when I travel I make sure to stock up for the year.
Where you callin' home these days?
I guess Los Angeles. I don't know.
That's where we have most of our stuff.
Mm. You know, it's pretty great.
And the weather's nice.
I mean, like most people I miss the seasons.
But for what it's worth,
you can go snowboarding in the morning
and hurry down the coast, surfing by sunset.
- That's cool. - Yeah.
[Soft piano music]
Your arms are bigger.
[Laughs]
Your chest is, too.
You're, like, a man, now.
Mm-hmm.
It suits you.
[Chuckles]
So why'd you give it up?
- Well... - Thank you.
Painting, I mean.
Um...
Um, tryin' to pursue something like painting on your own
after school when the rug's been pulled out
from underneath you, you know, it's really difficult.
You got this thing and it's either worth a lot of money
or less than the canvas that it's painted on.
And nobody can understand that unless they're in it, too,
you know?
Hm.
Tell me something you've never told someone before.
[Chuckles]
I wasn't makin' any money.
I felt like I needed to harden up.
Then, one day I heard about this friend of a friend,
this DJ, who was makin' a killing selling ecstasy
at nightclubs.
It was all very melodramatic.
I had my hat pulled down, brim a little over my eyes.
And I make my way to this... to this walk-up.
I'm comin' through the hall, and I can hear the music thumpin'
'cause the DJ's practicing.
I get to the door, and I gotta knock loud
so he can hear me over the music.
Finally, I hear footsteps.
So I cover the peephole.
Pull the ski mask down over my face
out from underneath the hat.
DJ opens the door and then, bam.
I catch him off guard. Hit him a few times.
He goes down.
He curls up in a little ball.
And now I'm tryin' to shut the door
because, um, I'm already inside.
And I look up, and this mutt comes pouncin' down the stairs.
And he's this little guy with this pug face.
And all of a sudden, I feel bad.
On account of I don't think this dog needs to see this.
So I bind his arms and his legs together,
you know wrist to ankle.
And I go runnin' up the stairs
and I pass this make-shift studio.
And the dog, he's still there.
And he's... he's not even barking.
He's lickin' my... my ankles,
which makes me feel even worse.
And, uh...
I just remember the music being really loud at that point.
I get to his room. I opened everything.
I tear open the drawers and I flip the bed.
Nothin'.
And I'm standin' there.
And it's really hot in this mask.
And this Zen-like state just washes over me.
And I'm realizing...
"Shit," you know, "This is what my life has become."
I remember thinking, you know, um, anybody,
God, Buddha, the Dalai Lama, I don't care,
just somebody, give me a sign.
And I turn around. And lo and behold,
there's this duffle bag,
and inside it is this shoe box.
And I open it up and there's just all this cash.
So I dump it in my backpack.
I slide down the stairs, out the door,
pull the mask off, beeline a few blocks.
And that was that. I got drunk at a bar.
He ran with a pretty tough crowd.
You know? So I'm sure he's seen worse.
And, um, he was pushin' drugs, so that's how I justify it.
But I still feel really bad for that dog.
[Laughs]
Look, I mean, it took some time to digest what I'd done.
But I got over it.
I put the money to good use
and, uh, I'm different now.
I'm not really the same person.
I've balanced the two sides of my personality.
At least now you're finally cooked.
What do you mean?
You're, like, cooked.
All my girlfriends and I have this saying that,
a guy is either cooked and mature or still cookin'.
Come on. Gimme somethin'. I just embarrassed myself.
So what?
You want me to distract us?
What's up?
You just took my breath away a little bit.
Oh, yeah?
About 5 or 6 years ago,
I went on an interview, sort of on a whim.
You know, I was... I wasn't making nearly enough money
to survive in the city, you know?
And this was before Matthew. I don't know.
A friend just recommended this service.
I was really impressed by the office.
I thought it'd be seedy,
but it was nice, you know, well-lit.
And there was even a receptionist.
So I made my way to the corner office
overlooking midtown.
And this woman, nice enough and put together,
she waves me in.
She gets a good look at me.
I was dressed somewhere between conservative
and a little too sexy to be conservative.
So we get into some small talk, traffic,
the weather, my punctuality.
She comments on one of my bracelets
and tells me that her daughter would love it.
She says, "Would you mind pulling your hair back
and up for me, honey?"
So I do as I'm told.
She comments on the length of my neck
and my jaw structure.
I mean, was it peculiar?
Yeah.
But I'd be lying if it didn't turn me on a bit.
You know, I mean, not... not the middle-aged woman,
but just the whole prospect.
She asked me to turn around.
So I spin around.
She doesn't say anything.
I mean, I know she's staring at my ass.
I just don't know why she's taking such a long time
to evaluate it.
And I look out this glass window
and there are about five employees
running around, you know?
Photocopying and typing on their computers,
and nobody even looks up.
It was just really strange.
She says, "Okay, you can sit back down."
So I did as I was told.
And at this point, like, I'm a bit flushed, you know?
And she picks up on this. She says, "Don't worry.
Our clients are of a different ilk.
They're very wealthy and discreet
and you might even recognize one or two of them from TV,
so you will be fine."
And I just zone out, you know?
Like, I've actually decided to do this.
[Tense music]
Looking back on it,
I didn't do it just for the money.
I mean, that was great, but, you know,
it was for the experience.
I wanted to punish myself.
You know, I was 24, 25 at the time,
and just in this vapid innocuous state
of staying out late and drinking too much
and working this dead-end job
that left me 50 bucks leftover at the end of every month.
You know, I was alone and fending for myself
in the big city.
You know, where I come from, it costs about half as much
for a nice apartment and the lifestyle,
but I didn't want to go back.
I couldn't go back.
I fell in love with the New York that you had shown me.
And I guess I was just chasing the ghosts of that time.
You look grossed out.
Can you blame me?
How many?
- Excuse me? - How many guys?
Two.
I'll try anything twice.
Yeah. I'm all pruned.
Jesus, Jones.
That's fuckin' crazy.
You robbed someone.
- Apples and oranges. - How so?
You sold your body like a piece of trash.
Fuck you.
[Water splashing]
Shit.
You knew where I was!
What?
Why didn't you come and get me?
What are you talking about, Jules?
You rewrite history like I left you!
You did leave me!
You didn't chase after me!
I left you so that you would fight for me!
You didn't come and get me!
[Cellphone vibrates]
What the fuck, Jules?
[Knock on door]
Don't open it. Don't open it!
[Door closes]
- Are you fucking kidding me? - Who the fuck are you?
- Is Dylan here? - Excuse me?
[Door closes]
What the fuck is going on?
Hi.
Oh, hey.
- Oh, hey? - Who is she, Dylan?
Really? Really? That's all ya got?
What do you want me to say?
You were so well-spoken earlier.
Okay, what is going on?
Your fella here, he led me on tonight.
And then he dropped me like a brick!
We met earlier in the evening, all right?
Yeah. I guess that's accurate.
We did meet earlier this evening.
Plus, I showed you my tits.
Or another way to put it entirely
is that we met earlier this evening,
I showed you my tits,
and then you fed me this load of bullshit!
- Back up, okay? - No! You let me finish!
Okay, well then finish!
You went on and on like this poetic lost soul,
making out like we were
meant to be together. - I never said that.
And you know what the sad part is?
Is that I fell for it.
Yeah, you wouldn't think that someone like me
would fall for something like that, but I did!
Even in the... the cheap pleather boots and the...
the corny music, I fell for it! - Are you okay?
Can I get you some water or something?
No!
- [Spits] - [Gasps]
You know, fuck you!
- [Gasps] Ah! Fuck. - You okay?
What the hell did you do to her?
- You okay? - Fuck it.
- You okay? - Mm.
You know what? You... you need to listen to me.
Okay? You need to open your ears!
You can't just do that to people!
It's... it's... it's... it's not nice!
Okay?!
Okay. All right?
I'm sorry. Okay?
[Sighs] Fuck.
- You okay? - Yeah.
I'm just really drunk and really embarrassed.
Okay, well, honey, are you gonna be all right?
Yeah, I'll just get the doorman to hail me a cab.
- Okay. - Uh, I'm sorry about this.
It's no problem.
[Door opens]
You have the nerve to judge me, when you treat people like that?
Isn't it implied upon paying admission
that there's no commitment?
I mean, between that and the American Gladiator names,
you'd think you'd be in the clear, right?
Holy shit. You're fucking crazy.
And she's right, you know.
What?
You know she's right.
Jules, you have no idea what you're talking about.
Okay? I already told you.
Stop picking a fight for the sake of fighting.
You weren't even there!
Oh, Dylan, come on, I barely said anything,
and you're getting all worked up.
So you know exactly what I mean, and you feel shitty about it.
You know. Ya did that then.
And it's clear that you do it now.
You fall in love with people.
And you make them feel good.
And you promise them things.
And for you, it's not the same as it is for them.
Okay? You have these little romances.
And ya did it with me.
Ya did it with my friends. Ya did it with your friends.
I mean, and the older you get, the more trouble
you're gonna get in when you do that.
Cool, Jules. Take the stripper's side.
Don't be cruel.
I'm sure she has a name, a real name.
And I'm sure you got her real name.
And I'm sure she's absolutely right.
You looked at her and you trembled your bottom lip,
and you stared deep into her eyes
with those eyes of yours,
and you fooled her,
just like you fooled me.
It wasn't like that with you, Jules.
We're not 18 anymore, Dylan. Okay?
You can't just treat people like that. Doesn't work.
Okay, don't back out. Don't pout.
Come on, Dylan, deal with this.
It's a problem of yours.
Uh-huh.
God, you're such...
[Laughs]
Shit.
Shit, shit, shit.
- What? What? - Fuck.
- Fuck me. - Dylan, what?
Fuck.
Ah.
I had to sign off on the tablecloth.
It's this little cardboard thing.
Tablecloth options.
Oh, fuck. Um... I'm...
I found it. I didn't know what it wa...
I think I put it in the other pocket.
[Sighs]
What is it?
The tablecloth for the wedding.
[Sighs]
I don't know what to do.
I can't really picture my life without Marcie.
And at the same time, in 10 years,
I can't really picture being with her.
But I can picture our kid.
He's the cutest thing.
And when the three of us are together, there's happiness.
And it all makes sense.
And we feed him.
And he's...
cryin' and bein' a brat because he doesn't wanna eat.
And he's kickin' the jar of food out of my hands.
But she doesn't get angry.
Marcie just smiles.
She's got the food all over her face.
And she puts the little spoon in, and she takes a bite
of the stuff herself.
The kid laughs.
And I'm watchin'. And I'm smilin'.
And it's amazing. And it's perfect.
Then we wash him up and we put him to bed.
And we're left standin' there.
These two great parents
with nothin' but contempt for each other.
But we have all the love in the world for this kid.
Does that make any sense?
Yeah.
I swear I'm not tryin' to be a wise-ass.
I can not see the difference between the whites.
[Laughs]
[Chuckles]
Okay. Here, let me help.
All right.
- [Laughs] - See?
You're right.
Thank you.
And you're wrong.
You know, if it means that much to her, just... just pick.
It doesn't matter which one.
[DVD player whirring]
[Melancholic music playing]
♪ Did you find it out
♪ With a Mexican
♪ And the conga lines
♪ That help you give in
♪ And the dream is cruel
♪ With a power fix
♪ I got her eyes
♪ What do you open
♪ Is it possible to learn
♪ When you're not
♪ And when you're cool
♪ With all you've got
Wow. [Chuckles]
[Squeals]
[Sighs]
What does Marcie do for you on Valentine's Day?
What do you mean?
You know, like, do you guys celebrate it,
or is it just another day?
We celebrate it.
I was working near the Flatiron Building
a few years back
and I remember it being, like, a really cold night.
And at first it was just one guy, you know.
He's picking up a rose.
And then he was joined by another,
and another, and another.
And pretty soon, it was just, like,
this horrifying intersection of lemmings.
And then I realized that they had to do that,
or their girlfriends would be let down.
And that couple would ultimately
be sitting across from another couple,
having waited 30 minutes past their dinner reservation
'cause that's what you do on Valentine's Day.
You eat a cold, overpriced meal with a girl
who got all dressed up for you,
and who doesn't know the truth about lemmings,
and gladly displays her roses until they wilt.
[Sighs]
What are you talking about?
I mean, I eat those cold meals!
Okay? I watch those roses wilt,
and I know better.
He does everything right.
Maybe it's just not right for me.
Look at me.
Are you happy?
Not really.
To tell you the truth, I don't think
I believe in happiness anymore.
I mean, ever since I was a kid
I don't think I valued the emotion.
It's too complicated.
It's not all PJs on Christmas morning.
It's relative.
Might have been happier some times than others, absolutely.
Am I ever happy for more than a day at a time?
I don't think so.
Maybe it's because you're not doing what you love.
I don't think that's it.
So is it Marcie?
I don't know.
How 'bout you?
- Am I happy? - Yeah.
Dylan, I'm pregnant.
Did you hear me?
Uh-huh.
So what do you think?
That should make you happy.
Matthew doesn't want to keep it.
He said that?
Yeah. He...
he wasn't overflowing with joy.
He doesn't think we're ready.
What do you want?
I just want to stay here for a while.
That okay?
Yeah.
[Quiet music]
[Door closes]
[Gasps]
Oh.
[Sighs]
- Hey. - Hi.
Look, just have the baby.
Okay? Um, I...
I'll be here, for what it's worth.
I know that doesn't make much sense, a...
and sounds kind of empty, but we'll make it work.
Um, I mean it.
It was really good to see you.
It was really good to see you, too.
[Sighs]
[Both breathing heavily]
[Both moaning]
[Both panting]
[Grunts]
[Door closes]
[Breathing heavily]
What's up?
Nothing.
I don't get it.
What happened, happened.
It's over and gone now.
What are you talking about? That was a big deal.
Yeah, I know it was.
So...
So I'm just supposed to button my coat and walk away now?
Yeah. What do you want to do, Dylan?
What do I want to do?
You just want to go on with our lives now, like...
like nothing happened?
I tried to sneak out, Jones, but we're in it now, so.
I'm married!
You're getting married!
I'm pregnant.
The last time I saw you, my life
consisted of picking out tattoos when I was drunk
and... and saving money to travel Europe.
And now I'm secretly trolling for advice on stroller shopping.
I mean, fuck!
This is insane! It's insane!
- Just calm down, Jules. - No, no, no!
Fuck that!
Listen, will you just sit down so we can talk about this?
Please.
They're anchors, Julia.
They bring us down, and they drain us.
Okay, stop it. Please, please. Stop it.
- You know it, I know it. - I said stop it!
- Dylan! - They're anchors, Julia!
You and me?
We get each other completely, and not a lot of people do.
But what just happened here, this...
this isn't a reason for us to be together.
Come on, you know in a month from now
you'll be thinking about Marcie and what you gave up with her.
- I won't. - Yeah, you will.
No, I won't.
Dylan.
You will.
They're stable...
and we're catastrophic.
It's beautiful, but it's so impossible.
Do you remember the blackout?
Yeah, of course I do.
I wake up to that image of us 20 times a year.
I think about that day and that night constantly.
And I don't know how I messed this up or why I let you go.
That night, you know what you did?
Yeah, we ate a pizza on the floor
and drank two bottles of wine.
Yeah, and you yelled at me and called me a whore.
We have just these great memories.
But at the end, there's so much sadness.
Fuck me.
[Quiet piano music]