Jesus Christ! Look at this. My sneaker's ruined!
- They're only $35. - Fucking city's turned into one big pile of dog shit!
Come on out and take a crap on me! Everybody else is! Fuck.
- Give it back to the poodles. - What's the point of jogging for two and a half miles?
Giving yourself lung cancer.
Tell you somethin', Erica. The longer I'm married to you...
the more you sound like my mother.
Clean your own sneaker.
- You wanted me to step in it. - You're going crazy, Martin.
- Yeah? - Yes.
Why would I want you to step in dog shit?
Well, that's a good question.
- Oh, God. - Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm not your mother.
- You know. - Yeah.
Listen, do you think we got time for a little quickie?
I got about 11 minutes.
Hey, come on!
Gimme a break here. I'm gettin' frostbite.
Jesus, I got to quit smoking.
- I saw Jacobs on Tuesday. Did I tell you? - Uh-uh.
Yeah, I went in for my annual physical.
How are you?
Fine.
You sound surprised.
Well, you know, I go up there for the damn thing...
and my blood pressure goes up 20 points from the anxiety of having to take the exam.
- What are you doing today? - Working at the gallery.
Oh, yeah.
Goin' to school.
- Hi. - Hi.
- Hi, sweetie. - Hi.
Hmm. Did the earth move?
Bye.
I'm telling you, we expose that kid to too much.
- Well, we still lock the door. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Have a good time. See you tonight. - Mm-hmm.
"Tonight, the ballet world was introduced...
"to a brilliant new talent-
"the long-awaited debut of Erica Benton.
"Miss Benton astounded the ballet world last night...
in her incredible performance of Swan Lake. "
"Her pas de deux were breathtaking."
- Hello. - Hi.
There she is.
- Hi. - Hi. How are you?
- You look great. - Oh, I'm sorry I'm late.
You're just in time for some big news.
- Well. - Oh, hi. Uhhh.
- Wine. - Let's have a glass- another carafe. Okay?
- Yeah. And, uh... - Anything else?
- Steamer Vic. - Refills for everybody.
- Are you ready? - You're in love.
Would that I were. It's not my news.
- Sue. - The only thing that happened to me last week was...
my elevator man got arrested for flashing.
- What is it, Jeannette? - I met a man.
Well, that's terrific!
- Well, there's a little problem. - He's married.
No.
- He's very young. - You're not close.
- How young? - He's 19.
- Oh, Jesus. - I know. I know.
- He's very mature. - Nineteen?
The problem is: Does she fuck him, or does she adopt him?
I'm a terrible person. I'm drunk, and I'm giddy, and I'm going to the loo.
- Sorry, Jeannette. - It's okay.
I think Elaine's going through early menopause.
It is so ironic. I've dated so many men...
in the last few years that were my age or older...
and Steven- his name is Steven-
is the first man that I've really liked...
- since my divorce. - Well, what's he like?
He's calm, quiet. He doesn't come on.
He's very bright. He's not afraid to be tender.
Well, if you were a man and you were talking about a 19-year-old girl...
then there would be no problem, would there?
No, I worry about Teddy.
I mean, how do you tell a six-year-old child his new daddy is a teenager?
- Where does he live now? - With his parents.
Maybe I should adopt him.
Did I miss anything?
No.
It's just that last night was so incredible.
I put Teddy to bed, and Steven came over.
We just sat and talked all night long.
- I mean, till 7:00 this morning. - What did you talk about?
We talked a lot about loneliness.
- Got kind of emotional. - Then?
- Promise you won't laugh? - I promise.
Well, then he undressed me, and he gave me a massage.
And it was the most incredible experience I think I've ever had in my life.
- I'll bet. - Was it sexual?
That's it. It was and it wasn't.
I mean, he massaged my feet and my toes...
and he massaged my fingers.
He massaged my eyes.
He actually massaged my eyes.
And then I had an orgasm.
And then another and then another.
I'd say it was sexual.
There ain't nothin' wrong with a good, old-fashioned eyeball orgasm.
Oh, I love them. I mean, I couldn't live without them.
- Have you read the latest book? - No, I didn't.
- You think I'm going crazy. - Crazy? What's this boy's phone number?
- Don't be offended, okay? - No. What? What?
- Is he being honest with you? - That's pretty naive, Erica.
- No, it isn't. - No, it's not.
There's no such thing as total honesty...
not with men.
They're all wrapped up in sexual ego.
- What the hell is sexual ego, Elaine? - Never getting enough.
Always on the make. Constantly worried about performing.
That's ridiculous. I know lots of men who are interested in other things besides sex.
- Name one. - My husband.
Harold hasn't made a pass in six months.
Well, listen, Elaine. Don't you think you're taking this thing a little too far?
Me? No.
- I think you're getting to be a man-hater. - I love men!
We're talking about their honesty.
- Do you think Martin is totally honest? - I don't think about it.
I think Erica has the second-best man in the five boroughs.
- Thank you. - You're welcome, I'm sure.
I think what I'm gonna do is just go along with things the way they are...
- and just see what happens. - Have fun, honey.
The worst that can happen is that it'll end.
No, I think the worst that could happen is that his parents will find out.
You're fabulous.
- I love you. - Swiftly moving on.
Patti?
Hello?
Hi.
- Girls had a long meeting tonight, huh? - They're not meetings.
- What's on the news? - Nothin'.
They're shootin' up Rhodesia, and, uh, the garbagemen are raisin' hell again. You know.
Jeannette is having an affair with a 19-year-old boy.
Oh, shit. She's flipped.
Men go out with younger women all the time.
Nineteen is four years older than Patti.
Yeah, where is Patti?
She went to the movies with Phil.
- I like Phil. - Well, maybe Phil should meet Jeannette.
- Martin. - How are Elaine and Sue?
- Fine. - Elaine makes me very nervous.
- She likes you. - Yeah.
I like her all right. She just comes on too strong.
So do you sometimes.
Sometimes I get the feeling that you prefer Elaine and Sue and Jeannette to me.
That's ridiculous, Martin.
- Do you? - Sometimes.
Look, Martin. Patti's coming home.
I have to get up early.
Martin, I'm not in the mood.
You give me a headache.
- Take an aspirin. - Shit.
Anybody home?
We're in here, honey.
What's goin' on in there?
Want me to go out and come in again?
- Hi. - Hi.
- How was the movie? - Good. We saw the new Lina Wertmüller film.
- Yeah? Did you like it? - I loved it.
But Phil thought it was flawed.
How old is Phil again?
You know how old he is. Why?
Well, your mother's friend Jeannette is having an affair with a 19-year-old guy.
- Good for her. - Yeah?
- Would Phil go out with Jeannette? - I don't know.
You'd have to ask Phil.
Don't say anything about Jeannette.
Who am I gonna tell?
- You and Daddy fighting? - No, it's not a fight.
- Daddy doesn't look too happy. - Mmm!
- Good night. - Good night.
Jesus.
You're acting like a five-year-old kid.
- I know. I know. - It's wonderful when you're in the mood and I'm in mood.
But, God!
It's not much fun when you make me feel like it's an obligation.
I know. You're right. I'm sorry.
Besides, we had sex this morning.
What do you want?
Guess I'm not much fun to live with, am I?
Are you okay?
- I don't know. - What is it?
I don't know. I just...
find myself-
I just- I'm anxious all the time, you know.
About what?
I just- I'm fantasizing and-
- About what? - Uhh.
About changing my life.
Quit Wall Street, go be a disc jockey somewhere. I don't know.
- Tired of your job? - I'll tell you something.
I've been the takeover type all my life.
I mean, in school, in the navy...
probably with you, certainly with Patti.
- There's nothing wrong with being a strong man. - That's the point.
- I'm not a strong man. I don't feel like a strong man. - You are!
Well, I feel tired.
I don't know what to say.
You should see a psychiatrist.
Really.
I-I don't think so.
Is it me? Are you tired of me?
I love you.
Aww.
I'd hate to join the crowd.
Why? What do you mean?
Oh, Elaine's boozing a lot.
Jeannette's crazy.
Sue's okay. She's a strong woman.
- God. - Well, so are you.
I'm beginning to wonder about me.
Oh, it's so nice to have a man to come home to.
- Is that just luck? - Yeah.
It's luck and a fabulous body.
Jesus. Here, three kids in the sixth grade beat their teacher up.
Where?
The Bronx.
- You never have any trouble in school, do you? - No.
It's a jungle.
It is! They got guys carrying guns.
Oh, you read too much.
- I what? - It doesn't really happen that way.
Well, it doesn't happen where you go to school, because we got you in a pretty good school.
- It's costing me a lot of money. - Oh, I'll go to public school.
- Okay. You're on. - Okay.
- You think that's funny?
- We'll buy you a gun, send you to public school. - I'm sorry.
I'm getting tickets to the ballet a week from Friday. Do you want to go?
- I don't know. Let me ask Phil. - Phil can come with us.
Only if he pays.
- I don't think Phil likes ballet. - I don't either. I'm goin'.
Good for your soul.
No. I think I'll pass, Mom.
- Listen, am I a nagging father? - No.
You're just feeling the loss of separation.
I'm not your little girl anymore.
Wash your mouth with soap!
- Hey, no physical contact, please! - Got to go.
- Bye. - Bye.
Bye.
Do you think Daddy's worried about getting old?
- Are you taking a psych course this year? - Mm-hmm.
He's always joking. Never seems to take anything seriously, you know.
You mean, he doesn't take Phil seriously, and that bothers you.
No, it doesn't. I don't take Phil that seriously either.
Oh, I think you're serious about Phil.
Mom, I'm still a virgin, if that's what you meant.
It's not what I meant. But I'm glad you told me.
- I just meant that you like Phil. - I like Phil.
I'm not gonna marry him. I'm never getting married.
- You will. - Don't be so sure.
- Why not? - Why should I?
Everybody I know who's married is either miserable or divorced.
- I don't want that. - Oh, Patti. That's ridiculous!
- There's a lot of happily married couples. - Name three.
- Uhh. - Uh.
- I'll have to think about it. - Yeah.
See you later.
383 West Broadway, please.
Now, if all this stuff wasn't done by a woman...
I don't think you could sit in the same room with it.
It isn't "stuff," Charlie. It happens to be art.
You're a classic male chauvinist pig.
I know, but I'm cute.
- You're out of style, Charlie. - Want a bite?
Uh-uh.
You're a beautiful woman, Erica.
- But you're leading such a sheltered life. - How can you tell?
It's in your eyes. You can tell everything in a woman's eyes.
Oh. Can you tell everything in a man's eyes?
Men cover it up. Women lay it all on the line.
Right there in the old eyes.
What do you see in my eyes, Charlie?
- Want me to be honest? - Yeah.
You're not gettin' enough.
I think you ought to have your eyes examined.
Oh, no. No, you're not really satisfied.
I mean, your old man's okay and all that, but, uh...
underneath it all you're frustrated.
Go paint a still life, Charlie.
- You ever had an affair? - It's none of your business.
Oh, man. What a shame. What a waste!
A woman as beautiful as you should be tasting a little variety in life.
Imagine if all you ever ate was apples?
Imagine never tasting a peach or a pear? A papaya?
Huh? No way, babe. Same thing with sex.
I'm allergic to papayas, Charlie.
How about a nice, fresh guava? Huh?
- Huh? - Leave me alone.
- Don't you ever think about anything else, Charlie? - Yeah, like what?
Ohh, there's literature and ballet...
- and theater and dance... - Hey, hey, hey, Erica.
- And architecture- - Erica. Hey, listen.
There's work, there's food, and there's sex.
That's the whole ball game.
Rowan Gallery.
Yeah. Sure.
Yeah. I'll meet you. Um, 15 minutes.
Okay, honey. Bye.
Might I inquire as to who "honey" is?
My husband. I'm meeting him for lunch.
Well...
- think I'll hit the streets for awhile. - Bye, Charlie.
- Hi. - Is this together?
Uh, yeah, he's paying for me.
That'll be $3.95.
- Thank you. - Thanks.
Excuse me.
Mmm, I wanted to talk to you about something.
I think that if we're gonna go to the island this summer...
that we really ought to get on it right away.
How would you feel about sharing a place with Sue and Harold?
- How's the market? - Huh?
Just wanted to see if you were paying any attention to me.
- You want to share a place with Sue and Harold. - Think you could handle it?
- Yeah. - Okay.
Well, I'll talk to Sue, and maybe the four of us could drive out in a couple of weeks.
We really should get on it right away.
Jesus, it's gonna be even more expensive this year.
You know, if we do take a place...
we're gonna have to have my club up there.
I could just see us, all lying in the sun, blabbing away.
I mean, we would- We talk. We really do.
I love our meetings.
They're so- I don't know.
I just love them.
It's sort of like a continuing story, you know.
It's part Mary Hartman and part Ingmar Bergman.
I- I love the women.
Marty. Marty. Come on.
What is it, honey?
What's the matter?
What is it?
- Th-What? Tell me! - I'm in love with somebody else.
I've been seeing another woman...
for over a year.
And at first, you know, I thought it was just a-a fling.
But it isn't. I love her.
I want to live with her.
Oh, God. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to hurt Patti.
But I-
I can't-
You don't know her or anything.
Her name is Marcia Brenner.
She's a- She's a teacher.
She's, uh, 26.
I met her- I met her at Bloomingdale's, for Christ's sake.
I was standing there buying a shirt, you know.
And she, uh-
She was standing next to me.
She asked me, uh...
if I liked the shirt that, uh, she was buying for her father.
Oh, God. I'm so sorry.
You tell Patti- You tell Patti that you're sorry.
I'm in love with her.
Ohhh.
- She a good lay? - Oh, she-
The first thing we have to do is get you a good lawyer.
I just can't believe it.
I really liked Martin.
- This is not a time to pity Martin. - I am not pitying Martin.
Move fast, Erica. Don't let the thing drag on.
That's what I did. It just hurts more and more.
- Get it over with. - I don't agree with you.
There's nothing to talk about.
The son of a bitch walked out on a magnificent woman.
The son of a bitch may walk right back in in a month or two.
It sounds to me like this thing's just sexual.
Would you take Harold back if he told you he was having an affair?
Oh, hon, Harold has affairs. He doesn't tell me about 'em.
I don't give a damn, as long as we respect each other.
That's kind of a weird contradiction, isn't it?
- My marriage isn't based on a king-sized bed. - Neither was mine.
I know it wasn't. There was a lot of love there.
That's why I'd hate to see it wasted if there's any hope.
- There's no hope. - You want him back?
Would you take that miserable bastard back?
No.
- I don't think so. - "Think"? You have doubts?
- Of course, she has doubts. - Look, all I know is...
I feel completely and totally alone.
- That'll pass. - Not if she sits on it, it won't.
Depression has a way of getting nice and comfortable.
There are days I really enjoy my black moods.
- It's like curling up with a good detective story. - Merde.
How would you know if you were never there?
Hey, honey, these old bones have known plenty of misery.
But I make it a point to get busy as soon as I feel the blues comin' on.
Oh, God. It was so much easier in the '60s.
We had Vietnam, assassinations, the Black Panthers.
There was a hell of a lot to do.
Can even find a decent cause these days.
We could use a good war.
I could use a double vodka martini.
- Patti's so sad. - She has a right to be. So do you.
I'm sad, Elaine.
I'm sad. I'm lonely. I'm depressed.
What do you want me to say? What do you want me to say?
Where you goin'?
See you guys next week.
Well, let me ride home with you.
- You sure you're all right? - I'll call you later.
I think we made her feel worse than she did.
I don't think that marriage is over yet.
I hope Martin gets a permanent case of the clap and his pecker falls off.
- Hello. - Fuck you.
- Hi. - Hi.
I had a fight with Phil.
What about?
He was defending Daddy.
He doesn't think it was the right thing, but he understands him.
Phil's a nice boy.
- I hate Daddy. - He didn't leave you. He left me.
I still hate him.
You'll get over it.
I don't want to see him again.
Who you talkin' about- Phil or your daddy?
- Both of 'em. - That's crazy.
Then I'm crazy.
Okay, honey.
Oh, Mom.
- I hate him, Mom. - Oh.
I hate him too.
Would you take him back?
Do you want him to come back?
Yeah. I guess so.
It's over, kiddo.
For good.
You'd better get used to that, you know?
- Hello?
Hello, Phil.
No.
Yes. Star Wars. Mm-hmm.
No. Nothin'. Nothin'.
I thought we went over this?
Mm-hmm.
"Balls," said the queen. "If I had 'em, I'd be king."
Well, if you won't sue me, Erica...
I'll tell you, uh, off the record...
that you're in very good health.
- Why am I tired all the time? - It's called divorce.
Maybe I should take Valium or something.
Come on. We'll talk about it. Huh?
- Did you feel this way, uh, before all this happened? - Never.
- Never? - Maybe I should see a psychiatrist, Arthur.
Erica, it's normal to feel lousy when a husband walks out on you.
You'd have to be crazy to feel good.
It's only been a few weeks.
Some time has to pass.
- And I'm not saying you shouldn't see a psychiatrist. - You're just saying...
- Erica's in good health. - Mmm.
Are you- Are you seeing other men yet?
No!
Well, don't be so shocked.
I'm not in the mood for men, Arthur.
I wasn't referring to sex. I mean, companionship.
Oh. Oh.
There are male companions out there who don't wanna get laid?
Well, you- Well, you could have a drink with me.
Is that a pass, Arthur?
No, it was an invitation to have a drink.
How come I never got an invitation to have a drink when I was married?
Well, I don't know. I- I never thought about it.
It's a pass, Arthur.
A definite fucking pass.
My relationship with Hal is totally honest.
He doesn't tell me he loves me. I don't tell him he's fascinating.
- It's pure sex. - You always were different.
Not always.
- I've just learned to live with my ups and downs. - I don't know how you do it.
I like my job. I like my friends.
I like my holidays. Oh, I'm going to the Catskills next week!
There's a new swami in town. You wanna go?
Uh, well, my spiritual life is just fine.
What's spiritual? There'll be some gorgeous men there.
- What does this Bob do? - He's a press agent- Broadway shows, movies.
Hal says he's a nice guy.
- If he tries to touch me, I'll break his arms. - Relax.
- Waiter! Waiter!
Right here, pal.
These are fantastic. These are like claws, Bob.
- Oh, yeah? - Claw things.
- Oh, yeah. - We'll take all four of these.
- Take 50,000 of ‘em, if you got 'em. - I don't know if I can-
- What do you call these? - Thank you.
- Claws. - Claws.
Erica, have a claw. Unbelievable.
Give her some of those, uh...
the shrimp with the, uh-
What do you call the shrimp with the white paper on the end?
- Paper shrimp. - Paper shrimp. Give us some of those, okay?
- Okay, anything else? - That's fine. Paper shrimp. Thank you.
Do you work, Erica?
Yeah, I, uh- I work part time at, uh-
The Rowan Gallery in Soho?
- Oh, I've never been there. - It's a good gallery.
- We could all take a walk there later. - That would be nice.
- Do you paint? - No. I- I studied painting...
- but I'm not an artist. - Mm-hmm.
I'm in public relations.
What are you working on?
Well, right now it's a new picture about an ex-Vietnam vet...
who comes back to a small Midwestern town and shoots 300 people.
- That should make a fortune. - I think I saw it.
- I don't think so, Hal. - I saw it, I'm telling you.
You couldn't. They haven't made it yet.
- Sounds familiar. - Erica.
Claire! Hi!
- It's nice to see you. - Remember Allison?
Hi.
How you doin'?
- Hey, I called you about a hundred times. - Yeah.
- You're never in. - I know. I know.
Oh, excuse me. This is, um, Bob.
And this is Claire and Fred and Allison and Elaine and Hal.
- Hal. I'm Hal. - Fred. Nice to meet you.
- How are you? Glad to know you. - Can we have lunch next week?
- Yeah. I'll call you. - Okay.
I will.
- Want a bear claw, honey? - Oh, she's full.
- I'm sorry, Erica. Call us if you need anything. - I will. Thank you.
- Please call me. - Yeah! I will.
Bye-bye.
Hal, this is great.
Excuse me. I'll be right back.
What are those things that would come in this little steamer here?
Waiter, can we have the shrimp with paper? Bring a couple of Bubble-Up.
- You all right? - Yeah. I'm fine.
- You sure? - This is crazy.
- Erica, let's take a walk. - I feel like I've been dim-sum-ed out of my mind.
- I think I'm gonna go home. - You sure?
- Oh, come on! - I'll take you home.
- Stay awhile. - No, I really wanna go home.
- Where do you live? - You go on, Elaine. I live in the East 60s.
- Good, I'll take you home. - Bye.
- Well, let me take you home. - Bye-bye!
- I'll see you later. Call you. - Have a nice time. See you.
- Boy, that's a nervous lady. - She has a right to be.
I'm divorced.
Married 11 years.
Two children.
My wife remarried. She's living out on the island...
so I get to see the kids just about every weekend.
When did you get divorced?
It's been... three years.
It was tough at first.
- You feel very disoriented. - I know.
Yeah, Hal said you were separated? What happened?
Oh-
My husband left me for a younger woman. Ha, ha, ha.
He must be out of his mind.
- Are you uncomfortable? - With you? No.
Why did you move closer to me?
I don't know. I-
- I guess I want to be closer to you. - Don't, Bob! Uh-uh!
- Why not? - I said so, that's why. I-I don't want you to.
- I didn't do anything! - But you want to, don't you?
- You're paranoid. - Do you or don't you?
What?
You'd think I was asking you to go to bed with me.
I'm just touchy these days. I'm sorry.
You sure are.
Maybe I am being less than honest. I-
- I'd like to see you again, Erica. - Oh, I don't think so.
- Why not? - You seem like a nice man.
It-It's not that. I'm just- I'm not dating.
- Well, what was today? - Lunch.
Well, lunch is dating in my neighborhood.
Take a girl to lunch, it's dating.
Uh, you're right. Lunch is dating.
Oh, God. "Dating." It's a silly word.
You are a very complicated woman.
I'm crazy about you.
You son of a... bitch!
Stop the cab! Stop it!
You- Stop the cab!
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't- - Stop it!
Get out, you son of a bitch!
- I didn't do anything! - Just get out!
Just stop it! Will you stop it?
Just pull the fuck over!
Get out! I don't want to see you!
I didn't do anything. This is ridiculous.
Just take me home!
Wonderful.
This is a wonderful thing to come home to.
- Get out of here, Phil! Just get out of my house! - I'm sorry.
Out! I don't want to talk about it.
- We didn't do anything. - You just get out!
- We didn't do anything! - Here's your coat. You be quiet, Patti!
- No! He's not going to! - Get out of the door!
- I want him to stay! - Mrs. Benton- Call you tomorrow!
- Patti! - Mom, what is with you?
Look, you've got- I don't care what you want!
- You can't run my life! - Oh, goddamn it!
- I hate it here! I don't want to live here anymore!
- I don't want to live here, either! - You can't stop me from seeing Phil.
I can! I can stop you from doing anything I want!
- No, you can't! I'll run away! - I don't care if you run away.
What did I do that was so wrong? Just tell me, and I'll understand.
I don't think you would act like this if your father still lived here.
Act like what? I wasn't having an orgy or anything!
- You want me to go to the park? - Hush!
- Get out of the house! - Okay, I'll go to the park.
- I'll sit on a bench and do it in public. - Okay, go ahead!
I'd like to see you! You might as well do it in public!
- You don't have any kind of feeling about anything! - Fine! I'll do it!
- I don't know. - God, what is with you?
I'm sorry.
God. Oh, God.
It's just confusing. I- I'm sorry I screamed at you, Patti.
- I'm sorry. - It's all right.
I just don't understand why you get so upset.
- I just can't be your father. - So just be my mother!
Come here.
Come here, honey.
Call Phil and tell him I'm sorry.
Uh, tell him he can come over. We can have an orgy.
Maybe he's got a friend for me.
How was your date?
My date? Oh.
We had dim sum. I was almost raped.
- He made a pass? - Yeah.
I don't see what's wrong with that.
You're beginning to sound like my date.
- You okay? - Yeah. Fine.
How 'bout you?
Call Phil.
Okay.
I'm- I'm afraid. I'm frightened, you know.
- Mm-hmm. - I've never been afraid of anything...
before in my life.
When I was little, I was-
I don't know. I was afraid of-
that I was gonna get my clothes dirty, or...
you know, I was gonna get bad marks on my report.
U-U-Uhh.
I was afraid when I got my period for the first time.
You know, I- Well, I got my period...
when I was, uh- when I was 13, you know.
And most of my-Well-
Some of my friends-
Well, my best friend-
My best friend was Karen Fienstein...
and she got her period when she was 12, you know.
So I thought there was something wrong with me, because I didn't get my period.
So I had a terrible year from 12 to 13.
You know, I mean, I-I-I-
I thought there was really something wrong with me.
You know, every time I went to the bathroom...
I would sort of, you know,
- Check and see if l- Yeah, if I got my period yet. - And go look.
And, suddenly I-
O-Oh, I was wearing- I was wearing these...
dumb little white lace panties...
you know, that my grandmother had given me for my birthday or some-
And, um...
suddenly I felt this...
wet, warm feeling in my crotch, you know.
And then I-
I felt sort of excited, you know.
But then I felt afraid.
I was afraid. I was afraid...
that I was going to get blood all over the... chair...
all over my pants.
Then the bell rang, and then the class got up...
and then I saw Karen, you know.
And I smiled, and I winked at her, and I went like that.
And she came over, and she said, "What are you smiling about?"
And I said, "I think I got it." And she said, "Oh, thank God!"
I don't really know why I'm telling you all this.
- I mean, it doesn't really- - Well.
Those are very scary moments, and you think a lot about that when you're a kid. It's natural.
- And what's happening now? - Everything seems very different.
I'm- I'm not able to...
know what's gonna happen.
You know, before I had a sense that...
- life would go on, and- - Yes.
- Now, it's like every day is like, "Whew!" - Yeah.
What's gonna happen? And I don't know how to control it.
- And I don't know- - Yeah.
I don't know- I don't know what to do.
Your whole life has been disrupted, discombobulated.
And... it's a new life right now.
I mean, what can you do? You know, you can't live my life for me, can you?
No. No. I certainly can't live your life for you.
It's your life.
But what I can do...
is to explore it with you and see what's happening now in your life.
Yeah.
Maybe the confusion that you're feeling now...
will clear up.
I'm pretty sure it will.
I think, right now, it would be a really good idea if you came twice a week.
But very quickly we'll move into once a week.
Because it's a lot more important what you do out there...
than what you do in here.
Mr. Benton would like to meet there at 1:00. Hello, Mrs. Benton.
Hi.
It's good to see you. I'm glad you called.
Let me have your coat.
- You look terrific. - I'm worried about Patti.
She's very angry at you.
Yeah. Well, she's got a right to be.
I'm seeing a therapist, and I want her to see her too.
- It's expensive. - That's all right.
- I'll-I'll take care of it. - Good.
- Well, that's settled. - Who's the-Who's the therapist?
Oh, her name is Tanya Berkel.
- A woman. - I don't know any men named Tanya.
Well, that's good. I think that's- that's good.
Good. I glad you think it's good.
You really hate me, don't you?
- Yeah. - I don't hate you.
- Oh, you were always a very compassionate man, Martin. - Now, wait a minute. I-
How- How can you hate somebody that you were in love with for 16 years? I don't-
It's easy.
If you're trying to make me feel guiltier than I already do...
- you're doing a good job. - Good.
This is ridiculous. Why are we having this conversation?
Martin, do you know how many times we made love?
- No. - No, I don't want to get into that.
I wanna tell you. At least 2,000 times.
That's counting twice a week for 16 years.
You should put it up on your ticker tape.
I think it's a very interesting statistic.
I wanna know something.
Did you fall out of love with my- my flesh, my body...
or me-with Erica?
Did you fall out of love with Erica?
Wait a minute. I didn't fall out of love with you.
I- I love you.
I mean, all right, it-it's different now, but l-
I love you. I can’t just erase all those years.
- I'll always love you. - I was your hooker, Martin.
I was a bright, high-priced, classy hooker.
Upper East Side by way of Vassar hooker...
but I was your hooker.
You have a lousy shrink.
How long do you think Marcia's gonna last?
Well, I'm gonna marry her.
The awesome sanctity of marriage.
Listen, if you want to sit up here with me and have a conversation, that's great.
But if you want to have an argument, I think you'd better leave.
- I want to have an argument! - You're flippin'.
Call Patti.
I never had any self-esteem. That was the trouble.
I suppose I thought looks would do it.
Well, I'll tell you. It is a nice feeling to like yourself.
Bette Davis always had self-esteem.
- Oh. - So did Katharine Hepburn.
- Mm-hmm. - Terrific woman.
- Look at this. - Oh.
- Beautiful. - It's strange, isn't it?
I mean, where are all the wonderful women that were in the movies in the old days?
Bette Davis, Katharine Hepburn, Joan Crawford.
- Where are all the women? - Well, we've got, uh...
- Jane Fonda, Barbra Streisand. - Oh, please. It's not the same thing.
I'd hate to see Fonda and Streisand...
- in a toe-to-toe with Hepburn and Davis. - Right.
- There's no contest. - Different times.
Hi.
- Hi. I'm sorry. Am I interrupting? - No.
- Uh-uh. - We were wondering where all the women movie stars are...
compared to 20, 30 years ago.
Well, um, I think we're getting to an age...
- where the dominate cult figure is bisexual. - Oh, God.
- Maybe unisexual would be a more appropriate term.
You mean like Mick and Dylan and David?
- That sort of thing? - Mm-hmm.
What's so funny?
- Is that good or bad? - I don't know. Nobody knows.
- You're entitled to an opinion. - Well, I'm not bisexual, if that's what you mean.
- Yes, we know that. - You know, but maybe she doesn't.
How'd we get started on this?
Self-esteem.
I could write a book on self-esteem.
"Self-esteem and the American Woman."
Once divorced...
sleeping around, drinking too much...
pretending to have a lot of self-you-know-what.
Really having next to none.
- You getting your period, Elaine? - Sure.
But I also have no fucking confidence.
Here. Drink this.
Why do people always give you water when you fall apart?
- I don't need water. I need booze. - That's a girl.
Don't worry, honey. Aunt Elaine is just a manic-depressive.
You know, like, uh, Jekyll and Hyde?
I don't think you get enough vitamin C.
- See you guys later. - Bye, honey.
- Bye. - Take care.
- She's somethin' else, Erica. - Yeah, tough cookie.
- She's confused about Martin. - How is the son of a bitch?
Hey. We forgot Claire Trevor.
- Jean Arthur, Susan Hayward. - What about Greta Garbo?
That was before my time.
I liked Rita Hayworth. She was pretty.
Everywhere I go I see... couples.
I see people holding hands or their arms around each other...
cheek to cheek or-
I just feel jealous.
Oh, I have so much to say, you know, at the end of the day.
I tell Patti everything.
I think about her, you know, going away to school and-
I know it's, uh- it's a couple of years away...
but I think about it as if...
it's gonna happen, you know, tomorrow.
- Yes. - I-
I guess I'm lonely.
I was very lonely too when I got divorced.
I didn't know you were divorced.
Yes.
And it's certainly okay to feel lonely.
You're supposed to in a situation like this.
It's- It's what is- what's expected.
It's really okay to feel anything-
anger, jealousy...
depression.
It's okay to feel.
I- I feel guilty about my feelings.
Well, guilt is something that I get livid about...
because it's kind of a man-made emotion.
And, uh...
I would like to see you...
take a vacation from guilt.
Stop feeling guilty for one week.
Just-Just say, "Erica, turn off the guilt."
Just turn it off. Don't feel guilty.
It doesn't get you anywheres. It really prolongs the agony.
And-
- I know what you mean. I'll try. - Yeah.
And don't feel guilty about feeling guilty, either.
And don't feel ashamed of your feelings.
They're your feelings. They have no I.Q.
They have no morality. They're your feelings. Just feel 'em.
When were you divorced?
I was divorced three years ago.
But let's get back to you and loneliness.
When you were married, did you ever feel lonely?
- No, not really. No. - When you were married, did you feel lonely?
Never?
No.
Well, sometimes, but I wasn't scared then, you know?
This scares me.
It is scary. It's a whole new way of life.
Did you ever find yourself wanting to be alone?
Yes! But I knew it wasn't gonna be forever.
Does it feel to you as if this is gonna be forever- the way you feel now?
Well...
I haven't had sex for seven weeks.
It's been seven weeks since Martin left.
I always took sex for granted.
Are you feeling sexy these days?
Hardly.
And, uh-
- What was I saying? - Sex.
Oh, yes.
I was hoping you'd forgotten.
Um...
well, we just had a pretty good sex life, you know.
I just- It was very-
This isn't fun.
No.
I just-
- I enjoyed sex. It was- It was nice. - Mm-hmm.
We were pretty... wild, Martin and me.
Mm-hmm. Tell me what you mean by that.
Wha-What do you mean, you were pretty wild?
Well, we had a good sex life.
What exactly was it like?
Jesus! What do you think happened? What happens?
You sound pretty angry. What's that all about?
If I knew that, I wouldn't be here.
Well, what are you gonna do about it?
You're looking at me as if I have the answers.
I don't have the answer for you.
I can tell you what I would do...
if I were me and I were in your situation.
What?
Well, one thing, I'd do a lot of what you're doing already.
I'd be a- I'd spend a lot of time with my friends...
as you're doing.
And I'd also sort of take myself by the hand...
and say, "Come on, Tanya. Get into the stream of life.
"Get back in there.
"Don't be scared of going out with guys.
Let's open the door and walk out and get in the stream of life."
- Men, huh? - Yeah, men.
I'd risk it. I'd risk it with some new men.
They're people, you know. I think you could enjoy them.
Take a chance.
Yeah. I guess I should.
Ugh.